NR Murthy retiring from INFY

Narayana Murthy is Going to be Retired  from Infosys (INFY) by August 21, 2011

KV Kamath,63,  now going to be new Chairman of Infosys and will suceed the company founder NR Narayana Murthy on 21st August, 2011. 

Gopalakrishnan and Shibulal,  Only two of the original seven founders of the company will remain in the company.

SD Shibulal  will be CEO & MD of Infosys.
Kris Gopalakrishnan play elder brother at Infy as elevation of Kris Gopalkrishnan to the executive co-chairman of Infosys (from CEO) ensures his continuity.

-------------------------------------------
About Gopalkrishnana
Goplakrishnan took over as CEO When Infosys's revenue was $3 billion and the employee strength was 72000. Now the company has more than doubled its revenue to 6.2 billion dollar and has an employee strengthe of 1.3 lakh.
He holds a master's degree in Physics (1977) and computer science (1979) from the Indian Institute of Technology, Madras.
He started his career with Patni Computer Systems (PCS), Mumbai as a Software Engineer.
-------------------------------------
About SD Shibulala
Sarojini Damodaran Shibulala is the only child of his parents, his father Damodaran an Ayurvedic Doctor, and mother Sarojini a State Excise department employee.
He studied in Maharaja's college in Ernakulam, Where he met his wife Kumari. He recieved M.Sc. in Physics from the University of Kerala and later did an MS in Computer Science in Bangalore
Shibulala & Kumari have two children, daughter Shruti, who runs Caperberry restaurant, and son Shreyas, a class 11 student in Bangalore.
SD Shibulal works in Infy from its founding in 1981 except between 1991 and 1996, when he took a sabbatical and worked with Sun Microsystems.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At this time Infosys is struggling with its larger rival TCS and gets a strong challenge from a slew of rivals like Cognizant. And under  tremendous pressure of  margins.

PRAYER OF LITTLE GIRL'S

PRAYER OF LITTLE GIRL'S

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying
"God bless Mommy,
God bless daddy,
God bless grandma
and good-bye grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this:
"God bless Mommy,
God Bless daddy
and good-bye grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the otherside.


Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say "God bless Mommy
and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he
stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.


Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?

"He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch."

(Only For Humour)

PERFORMANCE , POSITION & ST. PETER

PERFORMANCE , POSITION & ST. PETER

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.


Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven ?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York ."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, " Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."

Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three ye ars."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results," ; shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral: It's Performance, Not Position that Counts ....!!

Love & Life

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruits.



-- Kahlil Gibran

Sardar Jokes

Sardar Jokes  

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
 Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
-------------------------------
Manager asked to sardar at an interview Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
-------------------------------
Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What? Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chadda
------------------------------ 
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
------------------------------
 One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
------------------------------
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
-------------------------------
Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK.
Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it's second leg and told the same.
Cockroach walked.
Then cut the third leg and did the same.
At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.
--------------------------------
When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror.
Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
-------------------------------
Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
 Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
--------------------------------
Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
--------------------------------
A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was? . . . .. . . . . .. . .
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!
-------------------------------
A Sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
---------------------------
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly.
 A man asks why he does this.
Sardarji: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
----------------------------
Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth..............
... Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light"
-----------------------------
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
 Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
---------------------------
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
-------------------------------
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
------------------------------
 Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - Why did u come so far.
 Instead u could have posted it....
-------------------------------
Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..
-----------------------
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
---------------------
 Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"
-----------------------
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
 He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
-----------------------
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...---To avoid side effect!!!
-----------------------
 Man: Sardarji where were u born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".
--------------------
IN COURT during a case:
Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke
Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya.
ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....
------------------------
 Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me.
I don't know how she got my number,
She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

True Fact

Happiness is NOT something you find,



It's something you create.






Nothing is this world is IMPOSSIBLE as


the word is "I M POSSIBLE ..."

Must Read : Amazing When You Read it, You Love it !!

MUST Read - MALE / FEMALE Readers,  Amazing  Humour !!!! ( Really You Love it)

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.


The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, JAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!


For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. "
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, JAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!


The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.


Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense :)

Newton's Laws of Ramance

Newton in romantic mood......


Universal law:
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

First Law:
"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "
------------------------------
Second Law:
"the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "
-------------------------------
Third Law:
" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

Genelia D'Souza Biography

Genelia D'Souza Biography 2011

Height: 5′ 6½” (1.69 m)

Weight: 50 kg

Age: 26 years old
Date of Birth: 5 August 1987
Place of birth: Bombay, Maharashtra, India
Birth Name: Genelia De Souza
Mother: Jeanette D’Souza
Father: Neil D’Souza
Nickname: Teenage Superstar of Bollywood, Cheenu

She studied at Apostolic Carmel High School in Bandra Mumbai. After Schooling she joined the St.Andrews College,Bandra to pursue a Bachelor's Degree.

She was popular in Tollywood as well as in Bollywood. She has acted in many films in South Indian Cimena.

She has appeared in Telugu and Hindi language films, as well as Tamil and Kannada language films. D’Souza first hit the limelight in a Parker Pen commercial with Amitabh Bachchan.
Her acting debut was in the Hindi movie Tujhe Meri Kasam in 2003, But She get regnition from Tamil film Boys the same year, which was directed by Shankar. In this movie she acted with famous and popular hero Siddhartha.

Genelia has acted so far over a dozen Telugu ,Tamil and Hindi Movies.She acted in the movies like "Satyam" , "Sye", " Happy"," Bommarillu", abd Dhee. In these movies Bommarillu is the biggest hit in Genelia's career. From that movie she was popularly called as Hasini.After that She comes in many movies -

Mere Baap Pehle Aap (2008), Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na (2008),  Life Partner (2009), Chance Pe Dance(2010), Uthama Puthiran(2010), and Orange (2010)

The Most Important Thing in Genelia is - A Smiling Face (100 Watt Smile),
You will find almost all pictures with a Smile (Great Teeth & Good Looking Face - Perfect Photo)

DICTIONARY DECODING - MAN & WOMAN

DICTIONARY DECODING - MAN & WOMAN

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish...............49.
Adventurous..........Slept with everyone.
Athletic.............No breasts.
Average looking......Moooo.
Beautiful............Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.........On medication.
Feminist.............Fat.
Free spirit..........Junkie.
Friendship first.....Former slut.
New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned........No BJs.
Open-minded..........Desperate.
Outgoing.............Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........Bitch.
Voluptuous...........Very Fat.
Large frame..........Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate.........Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, doesn't it look like I'm upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay

Man Discovered What ? What woman Discovered ??

Man Discovered What ? What woman Discovered ??

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;
woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;
woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;
woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;
woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;
woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thank U For Being Friend To My Blog

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__***____HEARTBEATS R COUNTLESS____***__

__***_______SPIRITS R AGELESS_______***__

___***_______DREAMS R ENDLESS_____***__

____***FRIENDS LIKE U R PRICELESS__***___

_____***______thx_4_being _______***_____

______***_________MY_____ _____***_____

________***_____FRIEND___ ____***_______

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MARRIAGE MATHS

MARRIAGE MATHS

Women who love sex + men who love sex = Loving home with Many children

Men who hate sex + Women who love sex = Broken home with Many Children


Men who love sex + Women who hate sex =Broken home with No Children


Men who hate sex + women who hate sex = Loving home with No children

I Can Do, Can YOU Do ???

I Can Do, Can YOU Do ??? 

Can SEE 'TEA' in A TEA-CUP
Can you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?

I can SING on Any STAGE
Can you SING in COMA-STAGE?

I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT
Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?


I Can SEND My ADDRESS to Your MOBILE
Can You SEND Your MOBILE to my ADDRESS?

TRY ALL THIS........ ....
Atleast DO the LAST ONE Plzz

some facts for u all

Hi frndzz.. some facts for u all ! !


1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions.
2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!
3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.
4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite. Hi All,
5. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
6. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
7.Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

FACTS TO MAKE EVERY Indian PROUD

FACTS TO MAKE EVERY Indian PROUD

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?
A. Rajiv Gupta


Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm


Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika

Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.

Q. We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America , even faring better than the whites and the natives.


There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). AND,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.

Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts were published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY
FACTS ABOUT INDIA .
1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC.
More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's
works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.
9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridhara charya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used
numbers as big as 1053.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communicat ion was Pr!ofessor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
15. When many cultures in t he world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.

Quotes about India
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made. Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition. Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India. French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.Hu Shih (former Chinese ambassador to USA )

ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.
BUT, if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an evershining and
inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow.

FAMILY means?

F A M I L Y Means ???

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

What a Life !!!

What a Life !!!

When you are in light, Everything will follow you...... But when you enter dark, Even your shadow will not follow you...... This is LIFE !!!

Dalai Lama

Dalai Lama

The Noble  laureate Dalai Lama announced on March 10, 2011 that he would step down as political head of the so-called Tibetan government-in-exile but would remain as religious leader and continue to advocate "meaningful autonomy" for Tibet.

FORBES LIST OF BILLIONAIRES (M- Power)

Forbes List of Billionaires (M - Power)

1. Carlos Slim Helu & Family
Net Worth - $74 Billion
Title - Chairman Telemax (Country - Mexico)
--------
2. Bill Gates
Net Worth - $56 Billion

Title - Co. Chairman Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation (Country - USA)
---------
3. Warren Buffet
Net Worth - $50 Billion
Title - CEO, Berkshire Hathaway (Country - USA)
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The Topmost Indians in Forbs List
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6. Laxmi Niwas Mittal
Net Worth - $ 31.5
Title - Chairman, Arcelor Mittal
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9. Mukesh D. Ambani
 Net Worth - $ 27 Billion
Title - Chairman , Reliance Industries Ltd.
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36. Azim Premji
Net Worth - $ 16.8 Billion
Title - Chairman, Wipro
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42. Sashi & Ravi Ruia
Net Worth - $ 15.8 Billion

Title - Chairman & Vice Chairman, Essar Group
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56. Savitri Jindal & Family
Net Worth - $ 13.2 Billion

Title - Chairperson O.P Jindal Group
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Shanti Sethi - Female Commander US Vessel : USS Decatur

Shanti Sethi ( Female Commander US Vessel)

Shanti Sethi, commander of the USS Decatur, on March 16, 2011 became the first female commander os a United States Vessel to visit India when her ship docked in Chennai.

The port call of USS Decatur, a destroyer armed  with surface-to-air missile anrd anti-submarine rockets, was part of the US effort "to demonstrate commitment to regional partners". It came close on the heels of another visit by a US ship, the USNS Safeguard, which visited Port Blair in January 2011.

Shanti Sethi serving in the US navy since 1994, Sethi took over command of USS Decatur in 2010 and leads a predominantly male crew.

A native of Reno, Nevada, Sethi describes herself as "half Indian" with an American mother. She is Graduated from Norwich University in 1993 with a degree in International Affairs.
Sethi who was deployed in Arabian Gulf in 2001, has also served as a navigator on board USS Hopper.

A much decorated officer, her credits include the Meritorious Service Medal (two awards), Navy Commendation Medal (four awards), the Navy Achievement Medal, and various unit and campaign awards.

Marilyn Monroe Hollywood Bombshell

Legendary Beauty Marilyn Monroe (The Sizzling Diva)

Marilyn Monroe who sets the silver screen on fire in the fifties has been voted the top Hollywood bombshell of all times.

The legendary beauty had classics like "Gentelmen Prefer Blondes", "The Seven Year " and "Some like it Hot" to her creditand  her star quality has got her the top position in a recent poll of screen goddess.

The sizzling diva had died at the age of 36.

-----------

About Marilyn Monroe  -

Born: June 1, 1926 (Los Angeles)
Height: 5 feet, 5½ inches 166.62 (centimeters)

Weight: 118 pounds 53.5 kilograms

Was voted Miss California Artichoke Queen of 1947

Religion - Jewish

Spouse - 1.James Dougherty ( 1942–1946) , 2. Joe DiMaggio (m. 1954–1954),3.Arthur Miller (m. 1956–1961)

GirlFriend Humour

GirlFriend (GF) & Humour

How to Create the Big Doubt in
your Girlfriend's mind

.........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

..........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Simple . . !!!!!
Just Suddenly send her SMS
Saying..
"I Love you too" !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome Humour - mathematics

Amazing Mathematics :)

Romance Math

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

NOW I THINK U WILL BECAME MASTER OF MATHEMATICS. GOOD LUCK.

Amazing Full forms of Software Companies

Software Companies & Their Amazing Full forms

1. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10.. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. HP : Hen Pecked
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First, and Let them go
16. DELL : Deplorable Equipment & Lackluster
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

How You Read English (Phenomenal Power of Mind)

AMAZING READING (How Brain Read English)

If

you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line.



Only great minds can read this This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna
raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 57 plepoe
out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.


Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the
wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig huh?


yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
if you can raed tihs forwrad it

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT

Extreme Talent - Good Moral (Aladeen Ka Chirag & Wishes)

Extreme Talent - Good Moral (Aladeen Ka Chirag & Wishes)

Junior Software engineer, a senior Software engineer and their Project Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp(Aladeen Ka Chirag) . They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".

So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries."Pfufffff” and he was gone.

Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff” and he was also gone.

The Project Manager calmly said,"I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 2.00pm"

Moral of the story is: Always allow the bosses to speak first

Love Story : Blind Girl & Her Boy Friend

Love Story : Blind Girl & Her Boy Friend

´♥`



´♥` There was a Blind Gal


´♥` WhO Hate Herself


´♥` cOz Of being Blind.


´♥` she Hate every1


´♥` Except her boy friend..


´♥` 1 day de Gal said


´♥` that if she can


´♥` Only c the wOrld


´♥` she will marry her boyfriend,


´♥` One day sOme1


´♥` dOnated eyes On her


´♥` & then she saw Every thing


´♥`including her boy friend ,


´♥` her boyfriend ask her,


´♥` "nOw that u can c ,


´♥` will u Marry Me?",


´♥` the gal was shOcked when


´♥` she saw her boyfriend


´♥` is alsO Blind,


´♥` & she refuse tO Marry him.


´♥` Her boyfriend walk away


´♥` with little smile & said,


´♥` " just take care Of


´♥` my eyes dear.....

India Ranks 5th on Power List : National Security Index

India Ranks 5th on Power List

Says : Latest National Security Index (NSI) Designed by the the country's foremost security & economic experts

India's National Review 2010, which will be officially release by foreign minister S M Krishna on April 19, -

NSI 2010 placed India 5th (Fifth) in the hierarchy of top 50 nations identified on the basis of their GDP.

US Top , China Next(2nd) in the ranking based on Defence, GDP & Tech Capabilities.

Ranking - 1st US , 2nd China , 3rd Japan, 4th Russia, 5th India, 6th South Korea, followed by Norway, Germany, France and the UK.


India ranked - 3rd in the case of population, 4th in terms of defense capabilities,

Only US,China and Russia are ranked higher in defense capabilities.

In economic strength India ranked 7th.

National Security Index is based on - Defense capability, Economic Strength, Population, Technological capabilities.

Time Bound illness : Medical Certificate

Amazing Medical Certificate (Time Bound illness)

Certified that Mr. /Miss _________________ , working in your organization, is suffering from ‘time-bound’ illness. Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as ” Come over weekend..”, ” Let’s work on holiday..”, ” Leave cannot be granted. .” etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.

Sd/-

Dr. Cyba Impatient
Cyba Ki Cyber Clinic

Lalu Yadav , Rabri Devi & Yamraj : Fun - where is Lalu Fan

Lalu Yadav , Rabri Devi & Yamraj : Fun

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh).
As she stood in front Of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"

Yamraj answered, "Those are Lie Clocks.
 Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?"

That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he Never told a lie.
"And whose clock is that?" That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
The hands Have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his Entire life."

Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?"

Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a Ceiling fan".

Girlfriend and Wife : Funny Difference

Girlfriend and Wife : Funny Difference

1. Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile..


2. Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! .....

3. Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A :  About 45 pounds!!

4. WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!...

5. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!...

6. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women...

7. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend...

8. God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

9. What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?


Magnets have a positive side!....

10. He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppy disk into her hotmail

What a Fun

Fun with Moral

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."



The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other,
then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"


The boy takes the quarters and leaves.


"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"


Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.

Husband & Wife Romance : Before Marriage and After Marriage

Must Read - Husband & Wife Romance : Before Marriage and After Marriage

Before the marriage:



He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from below to up !!!!

Internet Chating /Slang - Chat - Vocabulary

Internet Slangs / Slang Vocabulary / Chating

AFAIC — "as far as I'm concerned", or "as far as I care", or "as far as I can..."

AFAIK — "as far as I know"

AFAIR — "as far as I recall", or "as far as I remember"

AFK — "away from keyboard"

ASAP — "as soon as possible"

BBL — "be back later"

BBS — "be back soon"

BFD — "big fucking deal"

BRB — "be right back" (usually used in chats and on an instant messenger service).

BTW — "by the way"

B2B — "Business to Business"

C&V — Chapter & Verse. Used in newsgroups.

C N>K — a Unix -ism meaning "coffee through nose into keyboard"

cya — "see you", used as a goodbye.

CU — "see you", used as a goodbye.

CYS — "Check your settings". A phrase often said by technical support staff of a certain Australian ISP.

FAQ — "Frequently Asked Question"

FFS — "for fuck's sake!"

FOAF — "friend of a friend", i.e. the dubious attribution given to urban legends

FYI — "for your information"

G2G — "got to go". Used in chatrooms.

GAGF — "go and get fucked"

GFY — "good for you" or "go fuck yourself". The use of this acronym is ambigious and not recommended.

GG — "good going" or "good game". Used sincerely in online games such as trivia, but more often used sarcastically when someone has done something foolish. Also, it is now becoming customary for all players to say "gg" when the game is over in such games as Counter-Strike , unless a player is profoundly displeased with the outcome.

GJ — Good Job

HAND — "have a nice day"

HTH — "hope this helps"

IANAL — "I am not a lawyer". Usually used before a non-lawyer gives legal advice, as a humorous disclaimer.

IANARS — "I am not a rocket scientist"

IC — "I see", also, "in character" in MUDs and role-playing games .

ICYDK / ICYDN / ICUDK -- "In case you didn't know."

IIRC — "if I recall correctly" c.f. ISTR

IMHO — "in my humble opinion" / "in my honest opinion"

IMO — "in my opinion"

IMNSHO — "in my not-so-humble opinion"

IRC — "Internet Relay Chat"

IRL - "in real life". Used in MUD settings.

ISTR — "I seem to recall" (i.e. I'm not really sure) c.f. IIRC

IYDMMA — "if you don't mind me asking", for ex., "IYDMMA, are you a virgin?"

JJ or JK (j/k) — "just joking", "just kidding"

Joo — synonym of you. Also spelled j00 with a lower case j and two zeroes rather than two O's.

JOOC — "just out of curiosity"

k — short for "OK"

l8 — a shorthand spelling of "late".

l8r — a shorthand spelling of "later", meaning "see you later" (see leet )

LIEK — synonym of like, as in "I like that website".

LMAO — "laughing my ass off"

LOL — "laughing out loud", or "lots of laughs" (a reply to something amusing)

MYOB — "mind your own business"

NM (n/m) — "never mind" or "not much"

NOYB — "none of your business"

NP — "No Problem"

NSFW — "Not safe for work." Material (pictures, webpages) not suitable for the office, but for the home instead. Used by Fark . See SFW.

NT — "No Text", used on Internet forums or Usenet to indicate that a post has no content

O — "oh"

OIC — "oh, I see"

OMG — Exclamation, "Oh my God!!"

OMFG — Exclamation, "Oh my fucking God!!"

OMFL — Exclamation, "Oh my fucking lag!"

OOC — "out-of-character&qu ot;. Used on MUDs and other role-playing games . Also, "out of curiosity."

OT — "off topic"

OTOH — "on the other hand"

own - to defeat someone (used commonly when playing Counter-Strike ) or to humiliate someone tactically in a debate; something that is extremely cool (ex. BMWs totally own).

PFO — "please fuck off"

PITA — "pain in the ass"

PO (PO'd) — "piss off" ("pissed off")

prog — "computer program" (progz in plural)

prolly — contracted form of "probably"

plz — shorthand spelling of "please"

Pwn — step up of the word own. To "Pwn something" means to have complete control over it, and to be "Pwned by something" means to be dominated by it. (see leet )

P2P — Person to Person

qoolz — something that is "cool" in the American sense.

R — shorthand spelling of "are"

RL — "real life". Used in MUD settings.

ROFL (or ROTFL) — "rolling on the floor laughing" (a reply to something extremely amusing).

ROFLMAO (or ROTFLMAO) — "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off"

r0x0rz — leet speaks for "rocks"

RTFA — "read the fucking article" applies mostly to Slashdot threads, for users who make comments on a story without having read it first.

RTFM — "read the fucking manual" (often sanitized to "read the fine manual"). The frequent reply to a request for basic help from newbies who have not attempted to find the answer for themselves.

RU — Are You?

R8 — right

SFW — "Safe for work." Material (pictures, webpages) that is safe for the office. Used by Fark . See NSFW.

STFU — "shut the fuck up"

sux0rs — leet speak for "sucks"

TBH — "to be honest"

thx — shorthand spelling of "thanks" - this can be combined into "kthx" (OK, thanks), "plzkthx" (Please, OK, thanks), and "kthxbye" (OK, thanks, goodbye)

TTFN — Ta Ta For Now

TIA — "thanks in advance"

TTYL — "talk to you later"

U — a shorthand spelling of "you"

ur — a shorthand spelling of "you're"

w/e — slang/abbreviation for whatever

w/o — without

WDUWTA —- "what do u wanna talk about?"

WTF — "what the fuck?"

YMMV — " Your mileage may vary " (you may see different results)

w00t — exclamation of excitement or happiness; closely related to, "hell yea!" (short for woohoo) or We Owned the Other Team

w8 — shorthand spelling of "wait".

X > * — definition of something [X] is better than everything [*].

<3 — "love" (made from the ASCII-art heart between the less than symbol and the three). Ex: I <3 you.

2B - To be

4 - for

Others express concepts peculiar to the Net:

cluebie — a newbie with a clue, but not close to a guru.

guru — an expert in some technical topic, such as as C programming or Unix system administration

FAQ — frequently asked question, or a list of frequently asked questions with answers. Never seems to be written in small letters.

flamer — one who 'flames'; To rant on about some relatively uninteresting subject or with a patently ridiculous attitude or with hostility towards a particular person or group of people. "Flame" is used as a verb ("Don't flame me for this"), a flame is a single flaming message. Also is likely to relate to the term lamer.

hijack — go offtopic. done commonly by newbies in forums.

troll — a person who deliberately stirs up trouble (see article).

lurker — one who reads an email list or a message board but does not participate in the discussion.

newbie — a new user. Not a pejorative term (but see RTFM, preceding).

noob — a new user. Also spelled n00b, with two zeroes rather than two O's

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*g* - grin

g/f - girlfriend



g/g - got to go



g0 - go



g1 - good one



g2/-/ - go to hell



g2bg - got to be going



g2cu - glad to see you



g2e - got to eat



g2g - got to go



g2g2tb - got to go to the bathroom



g2g2w - got to go to work



g2gb2wn - got to go back to work now



g2gn - got to go now



g2gp - got to go pee



g2gpp - got to go pee pee



g2h - go to hell



g2hb - go to hell bitch



g2p - got to pee



g2t2s - got to talk to someone



g3y - gay



g4u - good for you



g4y - good for you



g8 - gate



g@y - gay



ga - go ahead



gaf - good as fuck



gafi - get away from it



gafl - get a fucking life



gagf - go and get fucked



gah - gay ass homo



gai - gay



gaj - get a job



gal - get a life



gamez - illegally obtained games



gaoep - generally accepted office etiquette principles



gawd - god



gb - Go back



gbtw - go back to work



gbu - god bless you



gby - good bye



gcad - get cancer and die



gcf - Google Click Fraud



gd - good



gd&r - grins, ducks, and runs



gd4u - Good For You



gday - Good Day



gdby - good bye



gded - grounded



gdgd - good good



gdi - God Damn it



gdiaf - go die in a fire



gdih - Go die in hell



gdmfpos - god damn mother fucking piece of shit



gdr - grinning, ducking, running



geto - ghetto



gewd - good



gey - gay



gf - girlfriend



gfad - go fuck a duck



gfadh - go fuck a dead horse



gfam - Go Fuck A Monkey



gfas - go fuck a sheep



gfe - Girl Friend experience



gfe2e - grinning from ear to ear



gfg - good fucking game



gfi - good fucking idea



gfj - good fucking job



gfo - go fuck off



gfu - go fuck yourself



gfus - go fuck yourself



gfx - graphics



gfy - good for you



gfyd - go fuck your dad



gfym - go fuck your mom



gfys - go fuck yourself



gg - good game



gga - good game all



ggg - Go, go, go!



ggnore - good game no rematch



ggp - gotta go pee



gh - good half



ghey - gay



gigig - get it got it good



gigo - garbage in garbage out



gilf - Grandma I'd like to fuck



gim - google instant messanger



gimme - give me



gimmie - give me



gir - google it retard



gis - Google Image Search



giv - give



gj - good job



gjial - go jump in a lake



gjp - good job partner



gjsu - god just shut up



gjt - good job team



gkys - Go kill yourself



gl - good luck



gl hf - good luck, have fun



gl&hf - good luck and have fun



glbt - Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgenderd



glf - group looking for



glhf - good luck have fun



glln - Got Laid Last Night



glnhf - Good Luck and Have Fun



glty - Good luck this year



glu - girl like us



glwt - good luck with that



gm - good morning



gma - grandma



gmab - give me a break



gmabj - give me a blowjob



gmafb - give me a fucking break



gmao - Giggling my ass off



gmfao - Giggling My Fucking Ass Off



gmod - Global Moderator



gmta - great minds think alike



gmtyt - good morning to you too



gmv - Got my vote



gmybs - give me your best shot



gn - good night



gn8 - good night



gnfpwlbn - good news for people who love bad news



gngbng - gang bang



gnight - good night



gnite - good night



gnn - get naked now



gno - going to do



gnoc - get naked on cam



gnos - get naked on screen



gnr - Guns n' roses



gnrn - get naked right now



gnstdltbbb - good night sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite



goia - get over it already



goin - going



gok - God Only Knows



gokid - got observers - keep it decent



gol - giggle out loud



goml - get out of my life



gona - Gonna



gonna - going to



good9 - goodnite



gooh - get out of here!



goomh - get out of my head



gork - God only really knows



gow - gears of war



goya - Get Off Your Ass



goyhh - get off your high horse



gp - good point



gpb - gotta pee bad



gpwm - good point well made



gr8 - great



gr8t - great



grats - congratulations



gratz - congratulations



grfx - graphics



grillz - metal teeth



grl - girl



grog - beer



grrl - Girl



grtg - Getting ready to go



gsad - go suck a dick



gsave - global struggle against violent extremists



gsfg - Go search fucking google



gsi - go suck it



gsoh - Good Sense of Humor



gsp - get some pussy



gsta - Gangster



gt - get



gtas - go take a shit



gtb - Go To Bed



gtfa - Go The Fuck Away



gtfbtw - get the fuck back to work



gtfh - go to fucking hell



gtfo - get the fuck out



gtfon - Get the fuck out noob



gtfooh - get the fuck out of here



gtfu - grow the fuck up



gtfuotb - get the fuck up out this bitch



gtg - got to go



gtgfn - got to go for now



gtgp - got to go pee



gtgpp - got to go pee pee



gtgtb - got to go to bed



gtgtwn - Got to go to work now



gth - go to hell



gtha - go the hell away



gthb - go to hell bitch



gthmf - go to hell mothafucka



gthu - grow the heck up



gthyfah - go to hell you fucking asshole



gtk - good to know



gtn - getting



gtr - Got to run



gtty - good talking to you



gud - good



gudd - good



gurl - girl



guru - expert



gw - good work



gwm - gay white male



gwork - good work



gwrk - good work



gws - get well soon



gwytose - go waste your time on someone else



gyal - girl



gypo - Get Your Penis Out



roflmfao - rolling on the floor laughing my fucking ass off

--------------

h&k - hugs and kisses



h*r - homestar runner



h/e - However



h/mo - homo



h/o - hold on



h/u - hold up



h/w - homework



h2 - Halo 2



h2gtb - have to go to the bathroom



h2o - water



h4kz0r5 - hackers



h4x - Hacks



h4x0r - hacker



h4xor - hacker



h4xr - hacker



h4xx0rz - hacker



h8 - hate



h82sit - hate to say it



h8er - hater



h8r - hater



h8s - hates



h8te - hate



h8tr - hater



ha> - hacker



hafta - have to



hagd - have a good day



hagn - have a good night



hago - have a good one



hags - have a great summer



hai - hello



hait - hate



hak - here's a kiss



hakas - have a kick ass summer



hammrd - hammered



han - how about now



hav - have



hawt - hot



hawtie - hottie



hax - Hacks



hax0r - hacker



hax0red - hacked



hax0rz - Hackers



haxer - Hacker



haxor - hacker



haxoring - hacking



haxors - hackers



haxorz - hackers



haxxor - hacker



haxz0r - Hacker



haxzor - hacker



hayd - how are you doing



hb - hurry back



hbd - happy birthday



hbic - head bitch in charge



hbu - how about you



hby - how about you



hc - how come



hcihy - how can I help you



hdop - Help Delete Online Predators



heh - haha



hella - very



heya - hey



heyt - hate



heyy - hello



hf - have fun



hfn - Hell fucking no



hfs - holy fucking shit!



hg - HockeyGod



hhiadb - Holy Hole in a Donut Batman



hhok - Ha Ha Only Kidding



hi2u - hello



hi2u2 - hello to you too



hiet - height



hiik - Hell If I Know



hijack - start an off topic discussion



hith - how in the hell



hj - hand job



hl - Half-Life



hl2 - Half-Life 2



hla - Hot lesbian action



hlb - horny little bastard



hld - hold



hldn - hold on



hldon - hold on



hll - Hell



hlm - he loves me



hlp - help



hlysht - Holy shit



hmb - hold me back



hmewrk - homework



hmfic - head mother fucker in charge



hmw - homework



hmwk - homework



hng - horny net geek



ho - hold on



hoas - Hang on a second



holla - hey



homey - Friend



homie - good friend



homo - homosexual



hoopty - broke down automobile



hott - hot



howdey - hello



howz - hows



hpb - high ping bastard



hpybdy - happy birthday



hre - here



hru - how r u



hrud - how are you doing



hs - headshot



hsik - how should i know



hsr - homestar runner



hss - horse shit and splinters



hswm - Have Sex With me



htc - hit the cell



htf - how the fuck



hth - hope that helps



htr - hater



http - hyper text transfer protocol



hud - Heads Up Display



huggle - hug and cuddle



hugz - hugs



hun - honey



hv - have



hve - have



hw - homework



hw? - how?



hwg - here we go



hwga - here we go again



hwk - homework



hwmbo - he who must be obeyed



hwms - hot wild monkey sex



hxc - hardcore



hyg - here you go



--------------



i <3 u - I love you



i c - i see



i8 - alright



i8u - i hate you



i<3 u - i love you



i<3u - I love you



iab - I Am Bored



iafh - I Am Fucking Hot



iafi - I am from India



iag - it's all good



iah - i am horny



ianabs - I am not a brain surgeon



ianacl - I am not a copyright lawyer



ianal - I am not a lawyer



ianalb - I am not a lawyer, but..



ianars - I am not a rocket scientist



ians - I am Not Sure



ianyl - I am not your lawyer



iasb - i am so bored



iatb - I am the best



iateu - i hate you



iaw - In Another Window



iawtc - I agree with this comment



iawtp - I agree with this post



ib - I'm back



ibcd - Idiot between chair & desk



ibs - Internet Bitch Slap



ibtl - In Before The Lock



ic - I see



icbi - i can't believe it



icbiwoop - I chuckled, but it was out of pity.



icbt - i can't believe that



icbu - I can't believe you



icbyst - i cant believe you said that



icgup - I can give you pleasure



icic - I See. I See



icp - insane clown posse



icsrg - I can still reach Google



ictrn - I can't talk right now



icty - i can't tell you



icu - i see you



icudk - in case you didn't know



icup - i see you pee



icw - I care why?



icwudt - I see what you did there



icydk - in csae you didn't know



icydn - in case you didn't know



id10t - idiot



idbtwdsat - i dont believe they would do such a thing



idc - I don't care



iddi - I didn't do it



idec - I don't even care



idek - I don't even know



idfc - i dont fucking care



idfk - i dont fucking know



idgac - i don't give a crap



idgad - I don't give a damn



idgaf - i don't give a fuck



idgara - I don't give a rat's ass



idgas - i don't give a shit



idgi - I don't get it



idjit - idiot



idk - I don't know



idkbibt - I don't know but I've Been Told



idke - I don't know ethier



idkh - I don't know how



idkh2s - i don't know how to spell



idkt - I don't know that



idkw - I don't know why



idkwts - I don't know what to say



idkwurta - I don't know what you are talking about.



idky - i dont know you



idkymb2 - I didn't know yoru mom blogs too



idly - I don't like you



idn - i don't know



idonno - i do not know



idop - it depends on price



idr - I dont remember



idrk - i don't really know



idrts - I don't really think so



idsw - i don't see why



idtkso - i don't think so



idts - i don't think so



idunno - i do not know



iduwym - I don't understand what you mean.



idwk - I don't wanna know



idwt - i don't want to



idwtg - I don't want to go



iebkac - issue exists between keyboard and chair



ietf - internet engineering task force



iff - if and only if



ifhy - i fucking hate you



iflu - i fucking love you



ifthtb - i find that hard to belive



ig5oi - I got 5 on it



igahp - I've got a huge penis



igalboc - I've got a lovely bunch of cocnuts



ight - alright



igkymfa - I'm gonna kick your mother fucking ass



igs - I guess so



igtgt - I got to go tinkle



igtkya - im going to kick your ass



ih2gp - I have to go pee



ih2p - i'll have to pass



ih8mls - I hate my little sister



ih8p - I hate parents



ih8u - I hate you



ih8usm - i hate you so much



ihac - I have a customer



ihat3u - I hate you



ihiwydt - I hate it when you do that



ihmp - i hate my parents



ihnfc - I have no fucking clue



ihni - i have no idea



iht - I heard that



ihtfp - I hate this fucking place



ihtgttbwijd - I have to go to the bathroom, wait I just did.



ihtp - I Have To Poop



ihu - I hate you



ihusm - i hate you so much



ihy - i hate you



ihya - i hate you all



iigh - alright



iight - alright



iirc - if I recall correctly



iistgtbtipi - If It Sounds Too Good To Be True It Probably Is



iitywybmad - if I tell you, will you buy me a drink?



iiuc - if I understand correctly



iiw2 - is it web 2.0?



iiwii - it is what it is



ij - indide joke



ijeomk - I just ejaculated on my keybord



ijf - i just farted



ijgl - I just got laid



ijit - idiot



ijpmp - I just peed my pants



ijpms - I just pissed myself



ik - i know



iki - i know it



ikm - I know man



ikr - I know really



ikwum - I know what you meant



ikwym - i know what you mean



ilbcnu - i'll be seeing you



ilcul8r - I'll see u later



ili - i love it



ilk2fku - I would like to fuck you



ilms - I love my self



ilotibinlirl - I'm laughing on the internet, but I'm not laughing in real life



iltf - i love to fuck



ilu - I love you



ilulafklc - I love you like a fat kid loves cake.



ilusfm - I love you so fucking much



ilusm - I love you So much



iluvya - i love you



iluwamh - i love you with all my heart



ily - i love you



ily2 - i love you too



ilykthnxbai - i love you k thanks bye



ilylafklc - i love you like a fat kid loves cake



ilylc - i love you like crazy



ilym - i love you more



ilymtyk - i love you more than you know



ilysfm - i love you so fucking much



ilysm - i love you so much



ilysmm - i love you so much more



ilysvm - i love you so very much



im - Instant Message



im'd - instant messaged



ima - I am a



imao - in my arrogant opinion



imb - I am back



imcdo - in my conceited dogmatic opinion



imed - instant messaged



imfao - In My Fucking Arrogant Opinion



imfo - in my fucking opinion



imh - I am here



imhbco - In my humble but correct opinion



imhe - in my humble experience



imho - in my humble opinion



imm - instant message me



imma - I'm going to



imnerho - In my not even remotely humble opinion



imnl - I'm not laughing



imnsho - in my not so humble opinion



imo - in my opinion



impo - In My Personal Opinion



impov - in my point of view



imsb - i am so bored



imts - I meant to say



imusm - I miss you so much



imvho - in my very humble opinion



imwtk - Inquiring minds want to know



imy - I miss you



imya - i miss you already



inbd - it's no big deal



indie - independent



inet - internet



inho - in my honest opinion



init - isn't it



inmp - it's not my problem



innit - isn't it



ino - I know



intarwebs - internet



interweb - internet



intpftpotm - I nominate this post for the post of the month



inttwmf - I am Not Typing This With My Fingers



invu - I envy you



ioh - I'm out of here



iokiya - it's ok if you are



iono - I don't know



iotd - image of the day



iou - i owe you



iow - in other words



ioya - I'd Own Your Ass



ip - internet protocol



irc - internet relay chat



irgtgbtw - I've really got to get back to work



irhtgttbr - I really have to go to the bathroom



irl - in real life



irly - I really love you



irt - in reply to



irtf - I'll return the favor



isbya - im sorry but you asked



isg - I speak geek



isianmtu - I swear I am not making this up



iso - In Search Of



isp - internet service provider



iss - im so sorry



istr - I seem to remember



itb - in the butt



itd - in the dark



ite - alright



itk - in the know



itt - in this thread



ityltk - I thought you'd like to know



itz - it's



iucmd - if you catch my drift



iukwim - if you know what i mean



iuno - i dunno



ive - i have



iw2fu - i want to fuck you



iw2mu - I WANT TO MEET U



iwbrbl@r - I will be right back later



iwc - In Which Case



iwfusb - i wanna fuck you so bad



iwhi - I would hit it



iwk - I wouldn't know



iws - i want sex



iwsn - i want sex now



iwtfu - i want to fuck you



iwtfy - i want to fuck you



iwthswy - i want to have sex with you



iwu - i want you



iwyb - I want your body



iydmma - if you don't mind me asking



iyf - In your face



iykwim - if you know what I mean



iym - I am your man



iyo - in your opinion



iyq - I like you



iz - is

--------------

j/a - Just Asking



j/c - just curious



j/j - just joking



j/k - just kidding



j/o - jackoff



j/p - just playing



j/w - just wondering



j00 - you



j00r - your



j2luk - just to let you know



j4f - just for fun



j4g - just for grins



j4u - just for you



jalaudlm - just as long as you don't leave me



jas - just a second



jbu - just between us



jc - just curious



jcam - just checking away message



jcath - Just chilling at the house



jdfi - Just fucking do it



jebus - Jesus



jeomk - Just ejaculated on my keyboard



jfc - Jesus fucking Christ



jfdi - Just Fucking Do It!



jff - just for fun



jfg - just for giggles



jfgi - just fucking google it



jfi - just forget it



jfk - Just fucking kidding



jflts - just felt like typing something



jfr - Just for reference



jfwy - just fucking with you



jgiyn - Just google it you noob



jhm - just hold me



jic - just in case



jit - just in time



jj - just joking



jj/k - just joking



jk - just kidding



jka - just kidding around



jking - joking



jm - Just Messing



jma - just messing around



jmo - just my opinion



jms - just making sure



jom - just one minuite



joo - you



jooc - just out of curiosity



jooce - Juice



joor - your



jp - just playing



jsing - just saying



jst - just



jsuk - just so you know



jsut - just



jtlyk - just to let you know



jtoi - just thought of it



jtol - just thinking out loud



jttsiowctw - just testing to see if other websites copy this word



jtysk - just thought you should know



jumping the couch - acting strange



jus - just



juss - just



juzt - just



jw - just wondering



jyfihp - jam your finger in her pussy

------------------



k3wl - cool



ka - Kick Ass



kafn - kill all fucking noobs



kah - kisses and hugs



kaw - kick ass work



kb - KiloBite



kek - laughing out loud



kewel - cool



kewl - cool



kfc - kentucky fried chicken



khitbash - kick her in the box and shove her



kia - Killed In Action



kicks - sneakers



kiled - killed



kinda - kind of



kir - kid in room



kis - keep it simple



kisa - knight in shining armor



kit - keep in touch



kitfo - knock it the fuck off



kiwf - Kill It With Fire



kk - ok



kkk - ku klux klan



kl - cool



kma - kiss my ass



kmao - kick my ass off



kmfa - kiss my fucking ass



kmp - kill me please



knackered - drunk



knewb - new player



knn - fuck your mother



kno - know



knw - know



kol - kiss on lips



koo - cool



kool - cool



kos - kid over shoulder



kotc - kiss on the cheek



kotl - kiss on the lips



kotor - Knights of the old republic



kots - keep on talking shit



kpc - keeping parents clueless



ks - kill steal



ktfo - knocked the fuck out



kthanxbi - Okay, thanks. Bye.



kthnxbai - Okay, thanks, bye



kthnxbye - Okay, thanks, bye



kthx - ok, thank you



kthxbai - ok thanks bye!



kthxbi - ok, thank you, goodbye



kthxbye - ok, thank you, goodbye



kthxbye - ok, thank you, goodbye



kthxmn - Ok Thanks Man



kthz - ok thanks



ktnx - Okay and Thanks



kuhl - cool



kutgw - Keep Up The good Work



kuwl - cool



kwim - Know What I Mean



kwis - Know what I'm saying?



kwit - quit



kwl - cool



kwtsds - Kiss where the sun don't shine



kyag - Kiss Your Ass Goodbye



kyfag - kiss your fucking ass goodbye



kyfc - keep your fingers crossed



kyko - keep your knickers on



kys - kill yourself

-----------

l'omg - lol omg



l0lz - laugh out loud



l2p - learn to play



l2r - Learn to read



l337 - elite



l33t - elite



l4m3rz - lamers



l8 - late



l84skool - late for school



l8a - later



l8er - later



l8r - see you later



l8rs - laters



l8rz - later



l8s - later



l8t - later



l8ter - later



l8tr - later



laff - laugh



lak - love and kisses



lalol - lots and lots of laughs



lam - leave a message



lamf - like a motherfucker



lappy - Laptop



larp - live action role-play



lat - laugh at that



lata - later



lates - later



latn - laugh at the newbs



latr - Later



latwttb - laughing all the way to the bank



lau - laugh at you



lawd - lord



lawl - lauging out loud with a southern drawl



lawl'd - laughed out loud



lawled - laughed out loud



lawls - laughing out loud with a southern drawl



lawlz - laughing out loud with a southern drawl



lbr - little boy's room



ldr - Long-distance relationship



lee7 - elite



leet - elite



legit - legitimate



leik - like



leme - let me



lemme - let me



lesbo - lesbian



less than 3 - love



less than three - love



lez - Lesbian



lezbean - lesbian



lezbo - lesbian



lezzzie - lesbian



lf1m - Looking for one more



lfg - Looking for group



lfm - looking for mate



lfp - looking for pussy



lfr - Laughing for real



lgb - lesbian/gay/bisexual



lgbnaf - lets get butt naked and fuck



lgf - little green footballs



lgn - link goes nowhere



lgot - let's go out tonight



lgr - little girls room



lgs - let's go shopping!



lhao - laughing her ass off



liek - like



lifo - last in first out



ligaff - like I give a flying fuck



ligafs - like I give a flying shit



ligas - like I give a shit



lih - Laugh in head



liita - love is in the air



lik - like



lil - little



limh - laugh in my head



lirl - laughing in real life



liyf - laughing in your face



lj - live journal



lk - like



llap - live long and prosper



llol - literally laughing out loud



lm4aq - Let's meet for a quickie.



lma - leave me alone



lmamf - leave me alone mother fucker



lmao - laughing my ass off



lmaol - laughing my ass out loud



lmaomtoaoa - Laugh my ass off many times over and over again



lmaonade - laughing my ass off



lmaootf - Laughing my ass off on the floor



lmaorof - Laughing my Ass off Rolling on the floor



lmaorotf - laughing my ass off rolling on the floor



lmaowtntpm - laughing my ass off whilst trying not to piss myself



lmaoxh - laughing my ass off extremely hard



lmb - lick my balls



lmbao - laughing my black ass off



lmbfwao - laughing my big fat white ass off



lmbo - laughing my butt off



lmclao - laughing my cute little ass off



lmd - Lick My Dick



lmfao - laughing my fucking ass off



lmffo - Laughing my fucking face off



lmfho - laughing my fucking head off



lmfpo - laughing my fucking pussy off



lmfto - laughing my fuckin tits off



lmgdao - Laughing My God Damn Ass Off



lmhao - laughing my hairy ass off



lmho - laughing my heiny off



lmip - LETS MEET IN PERSON



lmirl - Let's meet in real life



lmk - let me know



lmmfao - laughing my mother fucking ass off



lmmfaos - laughing my mother fucking ass off silly



lmmfas - laugh my mother fuckin ass off



lmmffao - laughing my mother fucking fat ass off



lmo - Leave Me One



lmoao - Laughing my Other Ass Off



lmp - lick my pussy



lmpo - laughing my panties off



lms - leave me some



lmsao - laughing my sexy ass off



lmso - laughing my socks off



lmtfa - leave me the fuck alone



lmto - laughing my tits off



lmtus - let me tell you something



ln - last name



lnk - Link



lobfl - Laugh Out Bloody Fucking Loud



lof - Laughing on floor



lofi - uncool



lofl - laugh out fucking loud



lol - laughing out loud



lol'd - laughed out loud



lol@u - Laugh out loud at you



lolarotf - laughing out loud and rolling on the floor



lolcano - laugh out loud



lolcity - the whole city laughs out loud



lold - laughed out loud



lolees - laugh out loud



lolerz - laugh out loud



lolin - laughing out loud



lollam - Laughing Out Loud Like A Maniac



lollercaust - an extreme event of hilarity



lollercoaster - laugh out loud (a lot)



lollerskates - laughing out loud



lolm - laugh out loud man



loln - laught out loud... not



lolngs - laghing out loud never gonna stop



lolocost - laugh out loud



lolol - saying "lol" out loud



lololz - laugh out loud



lolpimp - Laughing out loud peeing in my pants



lolrof - Laughing out loud while rolling on the floor.



lolrotf - laughing out loud rolling on the floor



lols - laugh out loud



lolz - laugh out loud



loml - love of my life



lomy - love of my life



loti - laughing on the inside



lotr - lord of the rings



lov - love



loxen - laughing out loud



loxxen - laughing out loud



lozer - loser



lpb - low ping bastard



lpiaw - Large Penis is always welcome



lpms - life pretty much sucks



lqtm - Laugh quietly to myself



lqtms - Laughing quietly to myself



lqts - laughing quietly to self



lrfl - Laughing really fucking loud



lrh - laughing really hard



lrqtms - laughing really quietly to myself



lshismp - laughed so hard I shit my pants



lshiwms - laughing so hard I wet myself



lsr - loser



lsudi - Lets see you do it



ltip - laughting until I puke



ltms - Laughing to my self



ltnc - Long time no see



ltns - long time no see



ltnsoh - Long time, no see or hear



ltp - Lay the pipe



ltr - later



lttpot - laughing to the point of tears



ltw - Lead The Way



lu2 - love you too



lu4l - love you for life



lub - laugh under breath



lug - lesbian until graduation



lul - love you lots



lulab - Love you like a brother



lulas - Love You Like a Sister



lulz - Laughing out loud.



lurker - one who reads but doesn't reply



luser - user who is a loser



luv - love



luver - lover



luvv - love



lv - love



lvl - level



lvn - loving



lvya - love you



lwih - look what I have



ly - love you



lyaab - Love you as a brother



lyaaf - Love you as a friend



lyao - laugh your ass off



lybo - laugh your butt off



lyfe - life



lyk - like



lyk3 - like



lyke - like



lyl - love you lots



lylab - love you like a brother



lylaba - love u like a brother always



lylad - love you like a dad



lylafklc - love you like a fat kid loves cake



lylam - love you like a mom



lylas - I love you like a sister



lylasa - love u like a sister always



lylno - Love you like no other



lyls - love you lots



lymi - love you mean it



lysm - love you so much



lyt - love you too



lzr - loser

--------------