SARDAR JOKES

SARDAR JOKE

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
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Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
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Sardar declares:
.... . . I will never marry in my life &. . .
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . ..
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A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away
Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
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Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..
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Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..
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One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!
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Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.
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2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
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Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal....." Finally he wrote the conclusion.......
..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
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Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
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Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Joke

This particular joke won the award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and it was sent by an Indian...



Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.
"Someone has stolen our tent".


What it brings out is how we tend to complicate issues and then miss the most obvious things. Too much knowledge is no help unless we have the wisdom to guide it to an effective conclusion.

What is the Third Word : Test Your Knowledge

What is the Third Word : Test Your Knowledge

Think of words ending in "-gry". "Angry" and "hungry" are two of them.



There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have read carefully, I have already told you what third word is.


If u already gave up - send this to your friends the answer will pop up on the screen automatically.

OR See Answer through Comment posted by me.

Hardwork and Luck

Hardwork is like the stairs, luck is like a lift ; Lify may fail sometimes but whatever may be the occassion, stairs will always take you to the TOP

Good To Read : May I know the Time, Please

May I know the Time, Please

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose, if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.


Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

Young Man: Possible
Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles.
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a date with you.

Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.


Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) - Young man, I will never marry my Daughter to a person like you who does not even own a Watch.

NR Murthy retiring from INFY

Narayana Murthy is Going to be Retired  from Infosys (INFY) by August 21, 2011

KV Kamath,63,  now going to be new Chairman of Infosys and will suceed the company founder NR Narayana Murthy on 21st August, 2011. 

Gopalakrishnan and Shibulal,  Only two of the original seven founders of the company will remain in the company.

SD Shibulal  will be CEO & MD of Infosys.
Kris Gopalakrishnan play elder brother at Infy as elevation of Kris Gopalkrishnan to the executive co-chairman of Infosys (from CEO) ensures his continuity.

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About Gopalkrishnana
Goplakrishnan took over as CEO When Infosys's revenue was $3 billion and the employee strength was 72000. Now the company has more than doubled its revenue to 6.2 billion dollar and has an employee strengthe of 1.3 lakh.
He holds a master's degree in Physics (1977) and computer science (1979) from the Indian Institute of Technology, Madras.
He started his career with Patni Computer Systems (PCS), Mumbai as a Software Engineer.
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About SD Shibulala
Sarojini Damodaran Shibulala is the only child of his parents, his father Damodaran an Ayurvedic Doctor, and mother Sarojini a State Excise department employee.
He studied in Maharaja's college in Ernakulam, Where he met his wife Kumari. He recieved M.Sc. in Physics from the University of Kerala and later did an MS in Computer Science in Bangalore
Shibulala & Kumari have two children, daughter Shruti, who runs Caperberry restaurant, and son Shreyas, a class 11 student in Bangalore.
SD Shibulal works in Infy from its founding in 1981 except between 1991 and 1996, when he took a sabbatical and worked with Sun Microsystems.
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At this time Infosys is struggling with its larger rival TCS and gets a strong challenge from a slew of rivals like Cognizant. And under  tremendous pressure of  margins.

PRAYER OF LITTLE GIRL'S

PRAYER OF LITTLE GIRL'S

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying
"God bless Mommy,
God bless daddy,
God bless grandma
and good-bye grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this:
"God bless Mommy,
God Bless daddy
and good-bye grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the otherside.


Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say "God bless Mommy
and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he
stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.


Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?

"He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch."

(Only For Humour)

PERFORMANCE , POSITION & ST. PETER

PERFORMANCE , POSITION & ST. PETER

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.


Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven ?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York ."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, " Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."

Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three ye ars."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven ."

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results," ; shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral: It's Performance, Not Position that Counts ....!!

Love & Life

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruits.



-- Kahlil Gibran

Sardar Jokes

Sardar Jokes  

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
 Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
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Manager asked to sardar at an interview Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
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Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What? Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chadda
------------------------------ 
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
------------------------------
 One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
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Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
-------------------------------
Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK.
Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it's second leg and told the same.
Cockroach walked.
Then cut the third leg and did the same.
At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.
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When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror.
Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
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Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
 Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
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Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
--------------------------------
A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was? . . . .. . . . . .. . .
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!
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A Sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
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Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly.
 A man asks why he does this.
Sardarji: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
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Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth..............
... Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light"
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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
 Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
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Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
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 Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - Why did u come so far.
 Instead u could have posted it....
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Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..
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A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
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 Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"
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Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
 He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
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Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...---To avoid side effect!!!
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 Man: Sardarji where were u born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".
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IN COURT during a case:
Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke
Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya.
ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....
------------------------
 Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me.
I don't know how she got my number,
She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

True Fact

Happiness is NOT something you find,



It's something you create.






Nothing is this world is IMPOSSIBLE as


the word is "I M POSSIBLE ..."

Must Read : Amazing When You Read it, You Love it !!

MUST Read - MALE / FEMALE Readers,  Amazing  Humour !!!! ( Really You Love it)

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.


The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, JAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!


For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. "
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, JAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!


The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.


Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense :)

Newton's Laws of Ramance

Newton in romantic mood......


Universal law:
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

First Law:
"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "
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Second Law:
"the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "
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Third Law:
" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

Genelia D'Souza Biography

Genelia D'Souza Biography 2011

Height: 5′ 6½” (1.69 m)

Weight: 50 kg

Age: 26 years old
Date of Birth: 5 August 1987
Place of birth: Bombay, Maharashtra, India
Birth Name: Genelia De Souza
Mother: Jeanette D’Souza
Father: Neil D’Souza
Nickname: Teenage Superstar of Bollywood, Cheenu

She studied at Apostolic Carmel High School in Bandra Mumbai. After Schooling she joined the St.Andrews College,Bandra to pursue a Bachelor's Degree.

She was popular in Tollywood as well as in Bollywood. She has acted in many films in South Indian Cimena.

She has appeared in Telugu and Hindi language films, as well as Tamil and Kannada language films. D’Souza first hit the limelight in a Parker Pen commercial with Amitabh Bachchan.
Her acting debut was in the Hindi movie Tujhe Meri Kasam in 2003, But She get regnition from Tamil film Boys the same year, which was directed by Shankar. In this movie she acted with famous and popular hero Siddhartha.

Genelia has acted so far over a dozen Telugu ,Tamil and Hindi Movies.She acted in the movies like "Satyam" , "Sye", " Happy"," Bommarillu", abd Dhee. In these movies Bommarillu is the biggest hit in Genelia's career. From that movie she was popularly called as Hasini.After that She comes in many movies -

Mere Baap Pehle Aap (2008), Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na (2008),  Life Partner (2009), Chance Pe Dance(2010), Uthama Puthiran(2010), and Orange (2010)

The Most Important Thing in Genelia is - A Smiling Face (100 Watt Smile),
You will find almost all pictures with a Smile (Great Teeth & Good Looking Face - Perfect Photo)

DICTIONARY DECODING - MAN & WOMAN

DICTIONARY DECODING - MAN & WOMAN

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish...............49.
Adventurous..........Slept with everyone.
Athletic.............No breasts.
Average looking......Moooo.
Beautiful............Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.........On medication.
Feminist.............Fat.
Free spirit..........Junkie.
Friendship first.....Former slut.
New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned........No BJs.
Open-minded..........Desperate.
Outgoing.............Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........Bitch.
Voluptuous...........Very Fat.
Large frame..........Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate.........Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, doesn't it look like I'm upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay

Man Discovered What ? What woman Discovered ??

Man Discovered What ? What woman Discovered ??

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;
woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;
woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;
woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;
woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;
woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thank U For Being Friend To My Blog

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______ **********______********* _______

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___***____________****___ ________***___

__***______________**____ _________***__

__***____HEARTBEATS R COUNTLESS____***__

__***_______SPIRITS R AGELESS_______***__

___***_______DREAMS R ENDLESS_____***__

____***FRIENDS LIKE U R PRICELESS__***___

_____***______thx_4_being _______***_____

______***_________MY_____ _____***_____

________***_____FRIEND___ ____***_______

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_________________******__ ______________

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MARRIAGE MATHS

MARRIAGE MATHS

Women who love sex + men who love sex = Loving home with Many children

Men who hate sex + Women who love sex = Broken home with Many Children


Men who love sex + Women who hate sex =Broken home with No Children


Men who hate sex + women who hate sex = Loving home with No children

I Can Do, Can YOU Do ???

I Can Do, Can YOU Do ??? 

Can SEE 'TEA' in A TEA-CUP
Can you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?

I can SING on Any STAGE
Can you SING in COMA-STAGE?

I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT
Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?


I Can SEND My ADDRESS to Your MOBILE
Can You SEND Your MOBILE to my ADDRESS?

TRY ALL THIS........ ....
Atleast DO the LAST ONE Plzz

some facts for u all

Hi frndzz.. some facts for u all ! !


1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions.
2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!
3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.
4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite. Hi All,
5. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
6. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
7.Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

FACTS TO MAKE EVERY Indian PROUD

FACTS TO MAKE EVERY Indian PROUD

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?
A. Rajiv Gupta


Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm


Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika

Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.

Q. We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America , even faring better than the whites and the natives.


There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). AND,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.

Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts were published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY
FACTS ABOUT INDIA .
1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC.
More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's
works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.
9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridhara charya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used
numbers as big as 1053.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communicat ion was Pr!ofessor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
15. When many cultures in t he world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.

Quotes about India
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made. Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition. Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India. French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.Hu Shih (former Chinese ambassador to USA )

ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.
BUT, if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an evershining and
inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow.

FAMILY means?

F A M I L Y Means ???

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

What a Life !!!

What a Life !!!

When you are in light, Everything will follow you...... But when you enter dark, Even your shadow will not follow you...... This is LIFE !!!

Dalai Lama

Dalai Lama

The Noble  laureate Dalai Lama announced on March 10, 2011 that he would step down as political head of the so-called Tibetan government-in-exile but would remain as religious leader and continue to advocate "meaningful autonomy" for Tibet.

FORBES LIST OF BILLIONAIRES (M- Power)

Forbes List of Billionaires (M - Power)

1. Carlos Slim Helu & Family
Net Worth - $74 Billion
Title - Chairman Telemax (Country - Mexico)
--------
2. Bill Gates
Net Worth - $56 Billion

Title - Co. Chairman Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation (Country - USA)
---------
3. Warren Buffet
Net Worth - $50 Billion
Title - CEO, Berkshire Hathaway (Country - USA)
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The Topmost Indians in Forbs List
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6. Laxmi Niwas Mittal
Net Worth - $ 31.5
Title - Chairman, Arcelor Mittal
----------------
9. Mukesh D. Ambani
 Net Worth - $ 27 Billion
Title - Chairman , Reliance Industries Ltd.
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36. Azim Premji
Net Worth - $ 16.8 Billion
Title - Chairman, Wipro
----------------
42. Sashi & Ravi Ruia
Net Worth - $ 15.8 Billion

Title - Chairman & Vice Chairman, Essar Group
----------------
56. Savitri Jindal & Family
Net Worth - $ 13.2 Billion

Title - Chairperson O.P Jindal Group
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shanti Sethi - Female Commander US Vessel : USS Decatur

Shanti Sethi ( Female Commander US Vessel)

Shanti Sethi, commander of the USS Decatur, on March 16, 2011 became the first female commander os a United States Vessel to visit India when her ship docked in Chennai.

The port call of USS Decatur, a destroyer armed  with surface-to-air missile anrd anti-submarine rockets, was part of the US effort "to demonstrate commitment to regional partners". It came close on the heels of another visit by a US ship, the USNS Safeguard, which visited Port Blair in January 2011.

Shanti Sethi serving in the US navy since 1994, Sethi took over command of USS Decatur in 2010 and leads a predominantly male crew.

A native of Reno, Nevada, Sethi describes herself as "half Indian" with an American mother. She is Graduated from Norwich University in 1993 with a degree in International Affairs.
Sethi who was deployed in Arabian Gulf in 2001, has also served as a navigator on board USS Hopper.

A much decorated officer, her credits include the Meritorious Service Medal (two awards), Navy Commendation Medal (four awards), the Navy Achievement Medal, and various unit and campaign awards.

Marilyn Monroe Hollywood Bombshell

Legendary Beauty Marilyn Monroe (The Sizzling Diva)

Marilyn Monroe who sets the silver screen on fire in the fifties has been voted the top Hollywood bombshell of all times.

The legendary beauty had classics like "Gentelmen Prefer Blondes", "The Seven Year " and "Some like it Hot" to her creditand  her star quality has got her the top position in a recent poll of screen goddess.

The sizzling diva had died at the age of 36.

-----------

About Marilyn Monroe  -

Born: June 1, 1926 (Los Angeles)
Height: 5 feet, 5½ inches 166.62 (centimeters)

Weight: 118 pounds 53.5 kilograms

Was voted Miss California Artichoke Queen of 1947

Religion - Jewish

Spouse - 1.James Dougherty ( 1942–1946) , 2. Joe DiMaggio (m. 1954–1954),3.Arthur Miller (m. 1956–1961)

GirlFriend Humour

GirlFriend (GF) & Humour

How to Create the Big Doubt in
your Girlfriend's mind

.........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

..........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Simple . . !!!!!
Just Suddenly send her SMS
Saying..
"I Love you too" !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome Humour - mathematics

Amazing Mathematics :)

Romance Math

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

NOW I THINK U WILL BECAME MASTER OF MATHEMATICS. GOOD LUCK.

Amazing Full forms of Software Companies

Software Companies & Their Amazing Full forms

1. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10.. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. HP : Hen Pecked
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First, and Let them go
16. DELL : Deplorable Equipment & Lackluster
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

How You Read English (Phenomenal Power of Mind)

AMAZING READING (How Brain Read English)

If

you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line.



Only great minds can read this This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna
raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 57 plepoe
out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.


Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the
wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig huh?


yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
if you can raed tihs forwrad it

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT

Extreme Talent - Good Moral (Aladeen Ka Chirag & Wishes)

Extreme Talent - Good Moral (Aladeen Ka Chirag & Wishes)

Junior Software engineer, a senior Software engineer and their Project Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp(Aladeen Ka Chirag) . They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".

So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries."Pfufffff” and he was gone.

Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff” and he was also gone.

The Project Manager calmly said,"I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 2.00pm"

Moral of the story is: Always allow the bosses to speak first

Love Story : Blind Girl & Her Boy Friend

Love Story : Blind Girl & Her Boy Friend

´♥`



´♥` There was a Blind Gal


´♥` WhO Hate Herself


´♥` cOz Of being Blind.


´♥` she Hate every1


´♥` Except her boy friend..


´♥` 1 day de Gal said


´♥` that if she can


´♥` Only c the wOrld


´♥` she will marry her boyfriend,


´♥` One day sOme1


´♥` dOnated eyes On her


´♥` & then she saw Every thing


´♥`including her boy friend ,


´♥` her boyfriend ask her,


´♥` "nOw that u can c ,


´♥` will u Marry Me?",


´♥` the gal was shOcked when


´♥` she saw her boyfriend


´♥` is alsO Blind,


´♥` & she refuse tO Marry him.


´♥` Her boyfriend walk away


´♥` with little smile & said,


´♥` " just take care Of


´♥` my eyes dear.....

India Ranks 5th on Power List : National Security Index

India Ranks 5th on Power List

Says : Latest National Security Index (NSI) Designed by the the country's foremost security & economic experts

India's National Review 2010, which will be officially release by foreign minister S M Krishna on April 19, -

NSI 2010 placed India 5th (Fifth) in the hierarchy of top 50 nations identified on the basis of their GDP.

US Top , China Next(2nd) in the ranking based on Defence, GDP & Tech Capabilities.

Ranking - 1st US , 2nd China , 3rd Japan, 4th Russia, 5th India, 6th South Korea, followed by Norway, Germany, France and the UK.


India ranked - 3rd in the case of population, 4th in terms of defense capabilities,

Only US,China and Russia are ranked higher in defense capabilities.

In economic strength India ranked 7th.

National Security Index is based on - Defense capability, Economic Strength, Population, Technological capabilities.

Time Bound illness : Medical Certificate

Amazing Medical Certificate (Time Bound illness)

Certified that Mr. /Miss _________________ , working in your organization, is suffering from ‘time-bound’ illness. Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as ” Come over weekend..”, ” Let’s work on holiday..”, ” Leave cannot be granted. .” etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.

Sd/-

Dr. Cyba Impatient
Cyba Ki Cyber Clinic

Lalu Yadav , Rabri Devi & Yamraj : Fun - where is Lalu Fan

Lalu Yadav , Rabri Devi & Yamraj : Fun

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh).
As she stood in front Of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"

Yamraj answered, "Those are Lie Clocks.
 Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?"

That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he Never told a lie.
"And whose clock is that?" That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
The hands Have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his Entire life."

Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?"

Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a Ceiling fan".

Girlfriend and Wife : Funny Difference

Girlfriend and Wife : Funny Difference

1. Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile..


2. Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! .....

3. Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A :  About 45 pounds!!

4. WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!...

5. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!...

6. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women...

7. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend...

8. God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

9. What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?


Magnets have a positive side!....

10. He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppy disk into her hotmail

What a Fun

Fun with Moral

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."



The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other,
then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"


The boy takes the quarters and leaves.


"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"


Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.

Husband & Wife Romance : Before Marriage and After Marriage

Must Read - Husband & Wife Romance : Before Marriage and After Marriage

Before the marriage:



He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from below to up !!!!