Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Internet Slang

Internet Slangs/ Slang Translation / Slang Vocublary



yup - yes!
nope - no..
k - ok
lol - laugh out loud
brb - be right back
bolo - be on the lookout...
AFAIC — "as far as I'm concerned", or "as far as I care", or "as far as I can..."
AFAIK — "as far as I know"
AFAIR — "as far as I recall", or "as far as I remember"
AFK — "away from keyboard"
ASAP — "as soon as possible"
BBL — "be back later"
BBS — "be back soon"
BFD — "big fucking deal"
BRB — "be right back" (usually used in chats and on an instant messenger service).
BTW — "by the way"
B2B — "Business to Business"
C&V — Chapter & Verse. Used in newsgroups.
C
N>K — a Unix -ism meaning "coffee through nose into keyboard"
a — "see you", used as a goodbye.

CU — "see you", used as a goodbye.

CYS — "Check your settings". A phrase often said by technical support staff of a certain Australian ISP.

FAQ — "Frequently Asked Question"

FFS — "for fuck's sake!"

FOAF — "friend of a friend", i.e. the dubious attribution given to urban legends

FYI — "for your information"

G2G — "got to go". Used in chatrooms.

GAGF — "go and get fucked"

GFY — "good for you" or "go fuck yourself". The use of this acronym is ambigious and not recommended.

GG — "good going" or "good game". Used sincerely in online games such as trivia, but more often used sarcastically when someone has done something foolish. Also, it is now becoming customary for all players to say "gg" when the game is over in such games as Counter-Strike , unless a player is profoundly displeased with the outcome.

GJ — Good Job

HAND — "have a nice day"

HTH — "hope this helps"

IANAL — "I am not a lawyer". Usually used before a non-lawyer gives legal advice, as a humorous disclaimer.

IANARS — "I am not a rocket scientist"

IC — "I see", also, "in character" in MUDs and role-playing games .

ICYDK / ICYDN / ICUDK -- "In case you didn't know."

IIRC — "if I recall correctly" c.f. ISTR

IMHO — "in my humble opinion" / "in my honest opinion"

IMO — "in my opinion"

IMNSHO — "in my not-so-humble opinion"

IRC — "Internet Relay Chat"

IRL - "in real life". Used in MUD settings.

ISTR — "I seem to recall" (i.e. I'm not really sure) c.f. IIRC

IYDMMA — "if you don't mind me asking", for ex., "IYDMMA, are you a virgin?"

JJ or JK (j/k) — "just joking", "just kidding"

Joo — synonym of you. Also spelled j00 with a lower case j and two zeroes rather than two O's.

JOOC — "just out of curiosity"

k — short for "OK"

l8 — a shorthand spelling of "late".

l8r — a shorthand spelling of "later", meaning "see you later" (see leet )

LIEK — synonym of like, as in "I like that website".

LMAO — "laughing my ass off"

LOL — "laughing out loud", or "lots of laughs" (a reply to something amusing)

MYOB — "mind your own business"

NM (n/m) — "never mind" or "not much"

NOYB — "none of your business"

NP — "No Problem"

NSFW — "Not safe for work." Material (pictures, webpages) not suitable for the office, but for the home instead. Used by Fark . See SFW.

NT — "No Text", used on Internet forums or Usenet to indicate that a post has no content

O — "oh"

OIC — "oh, I see"

OMG — Exclamation, "Oh my God!!"

OMFG — Exclamation, "Oh my fucking God!!"

OMFL — Exclamation, "Oh my fucking lag!"

OOC — "out-of-character&qu ot;. Used on MUDs and other role-playing games . Also, "out of curiosity."

OT — "off topic"

OTOH — "on the other hand"

own - to defeat someone (used commonly when playing Counter-Strike ) or to humiliate someone tactically in a debate; something that is extremely cool (ex. BMWs totally own).

PFO — "please fuck off"

PITA — "pain in the ass"

PO (PO'd) — "piss off" ("pissed off")

prog — "computer program" (progz in plural)

prolly — contracted form of "probably"

plz — shorthand spelling of "please"

Pwn — step up of the word own. To "Pwn something" means to have complete control over it, and to be "Pwned by something" means to be dominated by it. (see leet )

P2P — Person to Person

qoolz — something that is "cool" in the American sense.

R — shorthand spelling of "are"

RL — "real life". Used in MUD settings.

ROFL (or ROTFL) — "rolling on the floor laughing" (a reply to something extremely amusing).

ROFLMAO (or ROTFLMAO) — "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off"

r0x0rz — leet speaks for "rocks"

RTFA — "read the fucking article" applies mostly to Slashdot threads, for users who make comments on a story without having read it first.

RTFM — "read the fucking manual" (often sanitized to "read the fine manual"). The frequent reply to a request for basic help from newbies who have not attempted to find the answer for themselves.

RU — Are You?

R8 — right

SFW — "Safe for work." Material (pictures, webpages) that is safe for the office. Used by Fark . See NSFW.

STFU — "shut the fuck up"

sux0rs — leet speak for "sucks"

TBH — "to be honest"

thx — shorthand spelling of "thanks" - this can be combined into "kthx" (OK, thanks), "plzkthx" (Please, OK, thanks), and "kthxbye" (OK, thanks, goodbye)

TTFN — Ta Ta For Now

TIA — "thanks in advance"

TTYL — "talk to you later"

U — a shorthand spelling of "you"

ur — a shorthand spelling of "you're"

w/e — slang/abbreviation for whatever

w/o — without

WDUWTA —- "what do u wanna talk about?"

WTF — "what the fuck?"

YMMV — " Your mileage may vary " (you may see different results)

w00t — exclamation of excitement or happiness; closely related to, "hell yea!" (short for woohoo) or We Owned the Other Team

w8 — shorthand spelling of "wait".

X > * — definition of something [X] is better than everything [*].

<3 — "love" (made from the ASCII-art heart between the less than symbol and the three). Ex: I <3 you.

2B - To be

4 - for

Others express concepts peculiar to the Net:



cluebie — a newbie with a clue, but not close to a guru.

guru — an expert in some technical topic, such as as C programming or Unix system administration

FAQ — frequently asked question, or a list of frequently asked questions with answers. Never seems to be written in small letters.

flamer — one who 'flames'; To rant on about some relatively uninteresting subject or with a patently ridiculous attitude or with hostility towards a particular person or group of people. "Flame" is used as a verb ("Don't flame me for this"), a flame is a single flaming message. Also is likely to relate to the term lamer.

hijack — go offtopic. done commonly by newbies in forums.

troll — a person who deliberately stirs up trouble (see article).

lurker — one who reads an email list or a message board but does not participate in the discussion.

newbie — a new user. Not a pejorative term (but see RTFM, preceding).

noob — a new user. Also spelled n00b, with two zeroes rather than two O's

========================= ===========





a/m - away message



a/s/l - age,sex,location



a/s/l/p - age/sex/location/picture



a/s/l/r - age, sex, location, race



aaaaa - American Assosciation Against Acronym Abuse



aaf - as a friend



aamof - as a matter of fact



aarp - alert, aware, responsible, participate



abend - absent by enforced net deprivation



abt - about



abwt - about



acc - account



acgaf - Absolutely couldn't give a Fuck



ack - acknowledged



addy - address



adn - any day now



afaic - as far as I'm concerned



afaics - as far as I can see



afaict - as far as I can tell



afaik - as far as I know



afair - as far as I recall



afc - away from computer



afcpmgo - away from computer parents may go on



afk - away from keyboard



afkb - away from keyboard



ah - ass hole



ahole - asshole



ai - Artificial Intelligence



aiadw - ALL IN A DAYS WORK



aiamu - and I'm a monkey's uncle



aicmfp - and I claim my five pounds



aight - Alright



aightz - alright



aiic - as if I care



aiight - all right



aim - AOL instant messanger



ain't - am not



aite - Alright



aiui - as I understand it



aiws - as i was saying



ajax - Asynchronous Javascript and XML



aka - also known as



akp - Alexander King Project



akpcep - Alexander King Project Cultural Engineering Project



alot - a lot



alright - all right



alrite - Alright



alryt - alright



amf - adios motherfucker



anim8 - animate



anlsx - Anal Sex



anon - anonymous



anuda - another



anw - anyways



any1 - Anyone



anywaz - anyways



aoe - Age Of Empires



aoto - Amen on that one



aoys - angel on your shoulder



apod - Another Point Of Discussion



ar - are



arnd - around



arse - ass



arsed - bothered



arvo - afternoon



asafp - as soon as fucking possible



asaik - as soon as I know



asap - as soon as possible



asarbambtaa - All submissions are reviewed by a moderator before they are added.



asic - application specific integrated circuit



asl - age, sex, location



aslp - age, sex, location, picture



aslr - age sex location race



aslrp - age, sex, location, race, picture



atm - at the moment



atop - at time of posting



atp - answer the phone

attn - attention



atw - All the way



audy - Are you done yet?



aufm - are you fucking mental



aufsm - are you fucking shiting me



aup - acceptable use policy



avie - Avatar



avsb - a very special boy



avtr - avatar



avy - Avatar



awes - awesome



awk - awkward



awol - absent without leave



ayb - All Your Base



aybab2m - all your base are belong 2 me



aybab2u - All your base are belong to us



aybabtg - All Your Base Are Belong To Google



aybabtu - all your base are belong to us



ayd - are you done



aydy - are you done yet



ayec - at your earliest convenience



ayfk - are you fucking kidding



ayk - are you kidding



aypi - and your point is



aypi? - And Your Point Is?



aysm - are you shitting me?



ayt - are you there



ayte - alright



aytf - are you there fucker



azn - asian



azz - ass

-----------------





bi - bye



b& - banned



b'day - birthday



b-cuz - because



b.s. - bullshit



b/c - because



b/g - background



b/s/l - Bisexual/Straight/Lesbian



b/t - between



b00n - new person



b00t - boot



b1tch - Bitch



b2b - business to business



b3 - be



b4 - before



b4n - bye for now



b4u - before you



b8 - bait



b82rez - Batteries



b8rez - Batteries



bab - Big ass Boobs



babi - baby



baf - bring a friend



baggkyko - be a good girl, keep your knickers on



bah - I don't really care



bai - Bye



bak - back



bamf - bad ass mother fucker



bamofo - bitch ass mother fucker



bau - back at you



bb - bye bye



bb4n - Bye-bye for now



bbbj - Bare Back Blow Job



bbe - baby



bbfn - Bye Bye for now



bbfu - be back for you



bbi - Baby



bbiab - be back in a bit



bbiaf - be back in a few



bbialb - Be back in a little bit



bbiam - be back in a minute



bbias - be back in a second



bbiaw - be back in a while



bbilb - be back in a little bit



bbl - be back later



bbl8a - Be Back Later



bbml - be back much later



bbp - Banned by parents



bbq - be back quick



bbs - be back soon



bbt - be back tomorrow



bbtn - be back tonite



bbvl - Be Back Very Later



bbw - be back whenever



bbwb - best buddy with boobs



bbwl - be back way later



bby - baby



bbz - babes



bc - because



bck - back



bcnu - be seeing you



bcnul8r - be seeing you later



bcoz - Because



bcurl8 - Because you're late.



bcuz - because



bday - birthday



bdfl - Benevolent Dictator For Life



be4 - before



beeoch - bitch



beezy - BITCH



beotch - bitch



betcha - bet you



bettr - better



bewb - boob



bewbs - boobs



bewbz - boobs



bewt - boot



bf - boyfriend



bf4e - best friends for ever



bf4l - best friends for life



bfd - big fucking deal



bfe - Bum Fuck Egypt



bff - best friend forever



bffa - best friends for always



bffae - Best Friends Forever And Ever



bffe - Best friends forever



bffeae - Best Friend For Ever And Ever



bffene - Best Friends For Ever And Ever



bffl - best friends for life



bfftddup - best friends forever till death do us part



bfg - big fucking gun



bfh - bitch from hell



bfhd - big fat hairy deal



bfn - bye for now



bfs - Boyfriends



bft - big fucking tits



bg - background



bhwu - back home with you



biab - back in a bit



biaf - Back In A Few



biatch - bitch



bibi - bye bye



bicbw - but I could be wrong



bilf - brother i'd like to fuck



bilu - baby i love you



bion - Believe it or not.



biotch - bitch



bioya - blow it out your ass



bish - Bitch



biw - boss is watching



biwm - bisexual white male



bizatch - Bitch



bizi - Busy



biznatch - bitch



biznitch - bitch



bizzle - BITCH



bj - blowjob



bk - back



bka - better known as



bl - bad luck



bleme - blog meme



bling-bling - jewelry



blj - blowjob



blkm - Black Male



blnt - Better Luck Next time



blog - web log



blogger - web logger



bm - Bite Me



bm&y - between you and me



bm4l - best mates for life



bmf - be my friend



bmfe - best mates forever



bmfl - best mates for life



bmha - bite my hairy ass



bmttveot - best mates till the very end of time



bn - been



bndm3ovr - Bend me over



bnib - Brand new in Box



bnol - be nice or leave



bnr - banner



bobfoc - Body of Baywatch, Face of Crimewatch



boffum - Both of them



bofh - bastard operator from hell



bogo - buy one get one



bogsatt - bunch of guys sitting around the table



bohic - Bend over here it comes



bohica - bend over, here it comes again



boi - boy



bol - Barking Out Loud



boomm - bored out of my mind



bord - bored



bout - about



bovered - bothered



bowt - about



boxor - box



br - bathroom



brb - be right back



brbbrb - br right back bath room break



brbf - Be Right Back Fucker



brbg2p - be right back, got to pee



brbmf - be right back mother fucker



brbts - be right back taking shit



brd - bored



brh - be right here



bro - brother



bros - brothers



brt - be right there



bruhh - Brother



bruva - brother



bruz - brothers



bs - bullshit



bsmfh - Bastard System Manager From Hell



bsod - blue screen of death



bsomn - blowing stuff out my nose



bsxc - be sexy



bt - bit torrent



btcn - Better than Chuck Norris



btd - bored to death



btdt - been there done that



btdtgtts - Been there, done that, got the T-shirt



btias - Be there in a second



btsoom - Beats The Shit Out Of Me



bttt - been there, tried that



btw - by the way



btwn - between



bty - back to you



bubar - bushed up beyond all recognition



bubi - bye



budzecks - butt sex



buhbi - Bye Bye



bur - pussy



burma - be undressed ready my angel



buszay - busy



but6 - buttsex



butsecks - butt sex



butterface - every thing is hot but her face



bwpwap - back when Pluto was a planet



bwt - but when though



byeas - good-bye



byes - bye bye



bykt - But you knew that



byob - Bring your own Beer



byoc - bring our own computer



bytabm - beat you to a bloody mess



bz - busy



bzzy - busy

-----------



c 2 c - cam to cam (webcams)



c&c - Command and Conquer



c-p - sleepy



c.y.a - cover your ass



c/b - comment back



c/t - can't talk



c2 - come to



c2c - care to chat?



c2tc - cut to the chase



c4ashg - care for a shag



cancer stick - cigarette



cawk - Cock



cb - come back



cba - can't be arsed



cbb - can't be bothered



cbf - cant be fucked



cbi - can't believe it



ccl - Couldn't Care Less



cd9 - Code 9 (other people nearby)



celly - cell phone



cex - sex



cexy - sexy



cfas - care for a secret?



cfm - come fuck me



cg - Congratulations



char - character



chilax - chill and relax in one word



chillin - relaxing



chk - check



chronic - marijuana



chut - pussy



cid - consider it done



cig - cigarette



cigs - cigarettes



cihswu - can i have sex with you



cis - computer information science



cless - clanless



cluebie - clueless newbie



cm - call me



cma - Cover My Ass



cmb - comment me back



cmcp - call my cell phone



cmh - Call My House



cmiiw - correct me if I'm wrong



cmitm - Call me in the morning



cml - call me later



cmliuw2 - call me later if you want to



cmomc - call me on my cell



cmon - Come on



cmplcdd - complicated



cms - content management system



cn - can



cnc - Command and Conquer



cod - Call of Duty



code 29 - moderator is watching



code 8 - parents are watching



code 9 - Parents are watching



code9 - other people near by



cof - Crying on the floor



coiwta - come on i wont tell anyone



col - crying out loud



comp - Computer



compy - computer



congrats - congratulations



convo - conversation



coo - cool



cood - could



cos - because



cowboy choker - cigarette



coz - because



cpl - Cyber Athlete Professional League



cpm - cost per 1000 impressions



crazn - crazy asian



crm - customer relationship management



crp - crap



crs - can't remember shit



crunk - combination of crazy and drunk



cs - Counter-Strike



cs:s - Counter-Strike: Source



csl - can't stop laughing



ct - can't talk



ctc - call the cell



ctf - capture the flag



ctm - chuckle to myself



ctn - can't talk now



ctpc - cant talk parent(s) coming



ctrn - can't talk right now



cts - change the subject



ctt - change the topic



cu - goodbye



cu46 - see you for sex



cubi - can you believe it



cud - could



cuic - see you in class



cul - see you later



cul83r - See you later



cul8er - see you later



cul8r - See You Later



cunt - vagina



cuom - see you on monday



cuple - couple



cut3 - cute



cuwul - catch up with you later



cuz - because



cvq - chucking very quietly



cwmaos - coffee with milk and one sugar



cwot - complete waste of time



cwyl - chat with ya later



cya - goodbye



cyal - see you later



cyb - cyber



cybseckz - cyber sex



cye - Close Your Eyes



cyff - change your font, fucker



cyl - see you later



cyl,a - see ya later, alligator



cylbd - catch ya later baby doll



cylor - check your local orhtodox rabbi



cym - check your mail



cyu - see you



c
n>k - coffee through nose into keyboard

----------------



d.w - don't worry



d/c - disconnected



d/l - download



d/w - don't worry



d00d - dude



d2 - Diablo 2



d8 - date



da - the



dafs - do a fucking search



dah - dumb as hell



damhik - don't ask me how I know



damhikt - don't ask me how I know this



dass - dumb ass



dat - that



dawg - Friend



db - database



db4l - drinking buddy for life



dbafwtt - Dont Be A Fool Wrap The Tool



dbg - dont be gay



dc - don't care



dc'd - disconnected



dcw - Doing Class Work



dd - don't die



ddg - Drop Dead Gorgeous



ddl - direct download



ddr - dance dance revolution



def - definitely



defs - definetly



degmt - Don't Even Give Me That



dem - them



der - there



dernoe - I don't know



detai - don't even think about it



dewd - Dude



dey - they



df - Dumb Fuck



dfo - dumb fucking operator



dftc - down for the count



dfu - don't fuck up



dfw/m - Don't Fuck with Me



dfwm - Don't Fuck with Me



dgaf - don't give a fuck



dgara - don't give a rats ass



dgms - Don't get me started



dgt - don't go there



dh - dickhead



diaf - die in a fire



dic - do i care



dick - penis



diez - dies



diff - difference



dikhed - dickhead



diku - do i know you



dil - Daughter in law



dilf - dad i'd like to fuck



dillic - Do I look like I care



dillifc - do I look like I fucking care



dilligad - do I look like I give a damn



dilligaf - do I look like I give a fuck



dilligas - do i look like i give a shit



din - didn't



din't - didn't



dirl - Die in real life



dis - this



dit - Details in Thread



diy - do it yourself



dju - did you



dk - don't know



dkdc - don't know, don't care



dl - download



dlf - dropping like flies



dln - don't look now



dm - deathmatch



dmba* - dumbass



dmu - don't mess up



dmwm - don't mess with me



dmy - don't mess yourself



dn - don't know



dnd - Do Not Disturb



dno - don't know



dnrtfa - did not read the fucking article



dnt - dont



doa - dead on arrival



dob - date of birth



dod - Day of Defeat



dogg - friend



doin - doing



don - denial of normal



doncha - Don't you



dont - don't



dontcha - don't you



dood - dude



doodz - dudes



dos - denial of service



dotc - dancing on the ceiling



doypov - depends on your point of view



dp - display picture



dqydj - don't quit your day job



dsided - decided



dsu - don't screw up



dt - double team



dta - Dont Trust Anyone



dtp - Don't Type Please



dttm - dont talk to me



dttml - dont talk to me loser



dttpou - Don't tell the police on us



dttriaa - don't tell the RIAA



du2h - damn you to hell



dun - don't



dunno - I don't know



dvda - double vaginal, double anal



dw - don't worry



dwb - Driving while black



dwbi - Don't worry about it.



dwmt - don't waste my time



dwt - don't wanna talk



dwy - don't wet yourself



dy2h - damn you to hell



dycotfc - do you cyber on the first chat



dyec - Dont You Ever Care



dyk - did you know



dylm - do you love me



dylos - do you like oral sex



dynm - do you know me



dyt - Don't you think



dyw2gwm - do you want to go with me



dywtmusw - do you want to meet up some where

-------------------

e-ok - Electronically OK



e.g. - example



ead - eat a dick



ebitda - earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization



ecf - error carried forward



eejit - idiot



ef - Fuck



ef-ing - fucking



efct - effect



efffl - extra friendly friends for life



effin - fucking



effing - Fucking



eg - evil grin



eh? - I'm done talking now, it's your turn.



ehlp - help



eil - explode into laughter



el!t - elite



ello - hello



em - them



emo - emotional



emp - eat my pussy



enit - isn't it



enof - enough



enuf - enough



enuff - enough



eob - End of Business



eod - End of day



eof - end of file



eom - end of message



eos - end of story



eot - end of transmission



eotw - end of the world



epa - Emergency Parent Alert



eq - Everquest



eq2 - Everquest2



ere - here



errythin - everything



esad - eat shit and die



esadyffb - eat shit and die you fat fucking bastard



esbm - Everyone sucks but me



esl - eat shit loser



eta - Estimated Time of Arrival



etla - extended three letter acronym



etmda - Explain it to my dumb ass



eula - end user license agreement



ev1 - everyone



eva - ever



evaa - ever



evercrack - Everquest



every1 - everyone



evn - even



evry1 - every one



ex-bf - Ex-Boy Friend



ex-gf - Ex-Girl Friend



exp - experience



eyez - eyes



ez - Easy



ezi - easy



-----------------

f u - fuck you



f#cking - Fucking



f.u. - fuck you



f/o - fuck off



f00k - Fuck.



f2f - face to face



f2p - free to play



f2t - Free to talk



f4c3 - face



f4eaa - friends forever and always



f4f - female for female



f4m - female for male



f8 - fate



f9 - fine



fab - fabulous



faggit - faggot



fankle - area between foot and ankle



fao - for attention of



fap - masturbate



faq - frequently asked question



farg - fuck



fashizzle - for sure



fawk - fuck



fbimcl - Fall Back In My Chair Laughing



fbtw - Fine Be That Way



fc - fruit cake



fcfs - first come first served



fck - fuck



fckm3hdbayb - Fuck Me Hard Baby



fcku - fuck you



fcol - for crying out loud



fcuk - fuck



fe - fatal error



fer - for



ff - friendly fire



ffa - free for all



ffcl - falling from chair laughing



ffs - for fuck's sake



ffxi - Final Fantasy 11



fg - fucking gay



fgi - fucking google it



fgs - for God's sake



fgssu - For Gods sake shut up



fgt - faggot



fi - fuck it



fi9 - fine



fibijar - fuck it buddy, I'm just a reserve



fifo - first in, first out



figjam - fuck I'm good, just ask me



figmo - F*ck it - got my orders



fiic - Fucked If I Care



fiik - Fucked If I Know



fio - figure it out



fitb - fill in the blank



fiv - five



fk - fuck



fkin - fucking



fking - Fucking



fku - fuck you



flamer - angry poster



flames - angry comments



flicks - pictures



floabt - for lack of a better term



fm - fuck me



fmah - fuck my ass hole



fmao - freezing my ass of



fmb - fuck me bitch



fmbb - Fuck Me Baby



fmh - Fuck me hard



fmhb - fuck me hard bitch



fmn - Fuck me now



fmnb - fuck me now bitch



fmph - fuck my pussy hard



fmq - fuck me quick



fmr - fuck me runnig



fmutp - fuck me up the pussy



fn - first name



fnar - For No Apparent Reason



fnci - fancy



fnpr - for no particular reason



fny - funny



fo - fuck off



fo shizzle - for sure



fo sho - for sure



foa - fuck off asshole



foad - fuck off and die



foaf - friend of a friend



foah - fuck off asshole



fob - fresh off the boat



focl - Falling Off Chair Laughing.



fol - farting out loud



folo - Follow



fone - phone



foobar - fucked up beyond all recognition



foocl - falls out of chair laughing



fook - fuck



for sheeze - for sure



fotcl - fell off the chair laughing



fotm - Flavour of the month



fouc - Fuck off you cunt



fov - Field of View



foyb - fuck off you bitch



fo` - for



fp - first post



fpmitap - federal pound me in the ass prison



fpos - fucking piece of shit



fps - First Person Shooter



frag - kill



fragged - killed



friggin - freaking



frk - freak



frm - from



frnd - friend



fs - For Sure



fsho - for sure



fsm - flying spaghetti monster



fsob - Fucking son of a bitch



fsod - frosn screen of death



fst - fast



ft - FUCK THAT



fta - From The Article



ftb - Fuck That Bitch



ftf - face to face



ftfa - From The Fucking Article



ftfw - For the fucking win!



ftfy - Fixed that for you



ftio - fun time is over



ftk - For the Kill



ftl - For The Lose



ftlog - for the love of god



ftmfw - for the mother fucking win



ftp - file transfer protocol



ftr - For The Record



fts - fuck that shit



fttp - for the time being



ftw - For the win!



fu - fuck you



fua - fuck you all



fuah - fuck you ass hole



fub - fuck you bitch



fubah - fucked up beyond all hope



fubalm - fucked up beyond all local maintenance



fubar - fucked up beyond all recognition



fubb - fucked up beyond belief



fubh - fucked up beyond hope



fucktard - fucking retard



fuctard - fucking retard



fud - fear, uncertainty and doubt



fudie - fuck you and die



fugly - fucking ugly



fuk - fuck



fukin - fucking



fukn - fucking



fumfer - fuck you mother fucker



fuq - fuck you



fus - fuck yourself



fuu - fuck you up



fux - fuck



fuxing - fucking



fuxored - Fucked



fvck - fuck



fwb - Friends with Benefits



fwiw - for what it's worth



fxe - foxy



fxp - file exchange protocol



fy - fuck you



fya - for your attention



fyad - fuck you and die



fyb - fuck you bitch



fyc - fuck your couch



fyeo - For your eyes only



fyf - fuck your face



fyfi - For Your Fucking Information



fyi - for your information



fyl - For your Love



fym - fuck your mom



fyp - fixed your post

--------------



Tuesday, April 12, 2011

What do u have ???? Tumhare Paas Kya Hai ???

What do u have ???? Tumhare Paas Kya Hai ???

A Senior Manager working in an MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the cafeteria for coffee.

He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there.

To Kill time he decides to have fun with him.

He calls him.

Senior Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?

Canteen boy smiles...

Senior Manager - what are your future plans?

Canteen boy keeps quiet...

Senior Manager - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?

Canteen boy gives a cold stare.

Senior Manager - Jab mai Bangalore aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch

nahi tha.... Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai...

naam hai..........,

shohrat hai.........,

paisa hai............

Izzat Hai.............,

tumhare paas kya hai?

Scroll down to find out his answer

Don't think that he answered like Shashi Kapoor of Deewar ki "Mere

paas Maa hain"

Just Scroll some more..............

....


........


..........



..........


................

.............



...............



..............


................

.................


.........................................

Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas bahut KAAM hai....


Senior Manager leaves the cafeteria silently.......



Boss & Problem

Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution

Jeetao Preeto Santa Banta And Sardarji Jokes

Jeetao Preeto Santa Banta And Sardarji Jokes

Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

************ ********* ********* ***

On Jeeto's bday Sardar had no money,

so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said:

Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.


************ ********* ********* ****
Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
Sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara
************ ********* ********* *****
Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
************ ********* ********* ****
Santa went to mysore palace.
Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

************ ********* ********* *****
Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.


************ ********* ********* ***
A Sardar enters shop shouts,
Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab !!
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.


************ ********* ********* *****

SARDAR JOKE

SARDAR JOKE


Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai? SARDAR: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai!!!


Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking............


Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.


How do you make a Sardar laugh on "Saturday"?
Tell him "a joke on Tuesday....!!!!

Sardarji is filling up a job application...........................
He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.
Then came the column Salary Expected.....................
After much thought he writes: Yes.............................

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"

A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"


Teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"


Ek sardar exame dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leak ho gaya. ha ha ha ha ha ha.


Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon......





Sardar Jokes (Santa Banta)

Sardarji ke Jokes

Sardar : I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend : why?
Sardar : Got upper berth.
Friend : why didn't you exchange?
Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..
------------------------- -----------------
Teacher lecturing on population:
In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up and says: we must find and stop her !!
------------------------- ------------
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected"
After much thought he wrote : Yes

------------------------- -------------------
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave him 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
------------------------- ------------------------- -----
Sardar proposed a Girl
. . .
Girl said 'I'm 1 year elder to you'
. . .
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR
------------------------- ------------------
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
------------------------- --------
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''
Note: Manmohan Singh is the Prime Minister (PM) of INDIA
------------------------- ------
Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything.
So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"
The first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
------------------------- ----------
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.
A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing"
Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"
Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered " No No Me ! Banta Singh"
Third one came and asked the same question, Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach.
He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?". The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing.
The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, they are all searching for you and you are sitting here"


Best Answers For Interview

7 Best Answers For Interview
( How to make fool & win)


Q: Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer: It didn’t work out.
What you should say: I felt my talents and abilities were underutilised.
------------------------- -------------------------
Q: What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer:
Hate all forms of authority and can't concentrate for long.
What you should say:
I am a workaholic. I just don't know when to put down my work.
------------------------- ------------------------- ---
Q: You don't seem to hold on to a job long. Why should we think you'll stay here any longer than you've stayed elsewhere?
Real answer: My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only competent employees.
What you should say: I am at a point in my career where I am tired of moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term enterprise, where I can make a contribution.
------------------------- ------------------------- -----
Q: How do you handle change?
Real answer: I deal with it everyday.
What you should say: I think everyone knows that today the only constant is change. I thrive on it.
------------------------ ------------------------- --
Q: How do you get along with others?
Real answer: Fine, as long as they stay out of my way.
What you should say: I think the interpersonal dynamics of the workplace can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.
------------------------- ------------------------- --
Q: What does the word success mean to you?
Real answer: It means that I don't have to drag myself out of bed.
What you should say: Success, for me, would be knowing I am making a difference working with a team of people to make a more profitable enterprise.
------------------------- ------------------------- ---
Q: What does the word failure mean to you?
Real answer: It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance.
What you should say: Failure? I'm sorry. That word is not in my vocabulary.

Who is the Father of Abhishek Bachhan - KBC Amitabh & Santa

Who is the Father of Abhishek Bachhan - KBC(Kaun Banega Karorepati) Amitabh & Santa

Amitabh : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke leye yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Santa Singh is tensed.
Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bacchan




ON Computer Screen:

A. Amitabh Bacchan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Azharuddin D. General Perverz Musharaff .


Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?! ( He is quite sure that Santa will opt for A)
But Santa is still confused.


Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..50:50 and phone a friend.
Santa: I think it is A, but am not sure.


Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm ap kya karna chahenge?
Santa : I would like to use 50:50?


Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..

Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azharuddin.


Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this
mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on.
Now Santa is confused.
Santa: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Santa : "Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga...."


Amitabh Fainted !!!!!
And the call is now connected to Jayabachan and listen ......
Santa asked the question to Jaya.
Santa : " Jayaji , Who is the father of Abhishek Bacchan ?
Jaya Bachan: Give me the options!!!!!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

How To Propose A Girl in C Program

Read & Enjoy : How To Propose A Girl in C Program

#include “STD ISD PCO.h”
#include “love.h”
#define Cute beautiful_lady
main()
{
goto college;
scanf(“100%”,&ladies);
if(lady ==Cute )
line++;
while( !reply )
{
printf(“I Love U”);
scanf(“100%”,&reply);
}
if(reply == “GAALI”)
main(); /* go back and repeat the process */
else if(reply == “SANDAL “)
exit(1);
else if(reply == “I Love U”)
{
lover =Cute ;
love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));
}
goto restaurant;
restaurant:
{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college);
}
if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;
cinema:
{
watch++;
if(intermission)
{
coke++;
Popecorn++;
}
}
if(time ==6.00)
goto park;
park:
{
for(time=6.30;time<=8.30;time+=0.001)
kiss = kiss+1;
}
free(lover);
return(home);
if(time ==9.30)
goto pub;
pub:
{
friends++;
party++;
booze++;
smoke++;
if(pub.close())
{
pay->bill;
come->out;
}
}
if (highly->intoxicated)
goto friendsroom;
else
{
sweetpan++;
polo++;
goto home;
}
friendsroom:
{
goto sleep;
}
home:
{
if(mom.shouts())
{
reason=(combinedstudy-project-work-friends-bday);
say->reason;
}
if(dad.shouts())
shut->yourmouth;
call->lover;
if(phone->voice==(lover_dad->voice
lover_mom->voice))
{
hang++;
}
else if(phone->voice==lover->voice)
{
for(time=12:30;time<=1.30;time+=0.001)
{
say->ILuvU;
scanf(“100%”,&reply); /* “I Love U” already stored in reply */
}
}
goto sleep;
}
sleep:
{
*(dream)=love;
}
}

Little Johnny & Fake Money

Little Johnny & Hobby Shop

Little Johnny went into a hobby shop, took a toy plane, and gave the shopkeeper fake money.


The shopkeeper told him, "Hey you, this ain't real money."

Little Johnny did not reply as he began to walk out of the shop.

The shopkeeper said the same thing and the same thing happened.

The third time the shopkeeper called him, Little Johnny said "What?"

The shopkeeper said, "This aint real money!"

Little Johnny finally said, "And this aint a real plane!"

Today's Professional Management FUNDAS

Today's Professional Management FUNDAS

1."We will do it" means "You will do it"


2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"


3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"


4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"


5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"


6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"


7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"


8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"


9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"


11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"


14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."


15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"


16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

Good Humour - Aishwarya Roy,Manmohan Singh, Asif Jardari, Sonia Gandhi in Tunnel !! Enjoy

Humour : Aishwarya Roy,Manmohan Singh, Asif Jardari, Sonia Gandhi in Tunnel

This joke has been making rounds for quite a few years now….names of the celebrities keep changing though…Gud one… Enjoy...!!



Politics In Tunnel

Manmohan Singh, Asif Zardari, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia Gandhi were traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Sonia and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Zardari is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.


Sonia is thinking: "This guy (Zardari) is all crazy after Aishwarya. Zardari must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him".

Aishwarya is thinking: "Zardari must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Sonia instead and got slapped." Zardari is thinking: "Damn it! Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya, she thought it was me and slapped me."


Manmohan Singh is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Zardari again."

Singh is King! Singh is King!! Singh is King!!!

Important For Life - STRUGGLE

STRUGGLE - Why It So Important in Life



Trials in life can be tragedies or triumphs, depending on how we handle them. Triumphs


don't come without effort.


A biology teacher was teaching his students how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. He


told the students that in the next couple of hours, the butterfly would struggle to come out


of the cocoon. But no one should help the butterfly. Then he left.




The students were waiting and it happened. The butterfly struggled to get out of the


cocoon, and one of the students took pity on it and decided to help the butterfly out of the


cocoon against the advice of his teacher. He broke the cocoon to help the butterfly so it


didn't have to struggle anymore. But shortly afterwards the butterfly died.




When the teacher returned, he was told what happened. He explained to this student that


by helping the butterfly, he had actually killed it because it is a law of nature that the


struggle to come out of the cocoon actually helps develop and strengthen its wings. The


boy had deprived the butterfly of its struggle and the butterfly died.




Apply this same principle to our lives. Nothing worthwhile in life comes without a struggle.


As parents we tend to hurt the ones we love most because we don't allow them to


struggle to gain strength.

Great Sardar Jokes/Fun/Amusement

Great Sardar Jokes


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!



Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: U cheated me.


Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.


Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
--------------------------------------------------
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?


Sardar: An old king's skeleton.


Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?


Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.


---------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar declares:


.... . . I will never marry in my life &. . .


.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . ..
-----------------------------------------------------------


A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away


Sardar ran to catch the donkey.


He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.


------------------------


Santa went to Mysore palace.


Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair


Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..
--------------------------------------


Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,


He wanted to save money so what did he do?


Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..
-------------------------------------------------


One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?


Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!
-------------------------------------------
Teacher: A for?


Sardar: Apple


Teacher: Jor se bolo?


Sardar: Jay mata di.
-------------------------------------


2 sardars were fighting after exam.


Sir: Y r u fighting?


1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,


Sir: So what?


1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
------------------------------


Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.


He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.


He cuts all the legs and said, "chal....." Finally he wrote the conclusion.......


..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"


---------------------------------------


2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.


Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.


Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
-------------------------------


A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.


Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?


Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
----------------------------------------




2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.


Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.


Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
-----------------------


Sardar: What is the name of your car?


Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.


Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
-------------------------








Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.


Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
---------


Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..


Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.