A Marriage Prposal in Mathematics

A Marriage Prposal in Mathematics

007/Cubic Road

Mathematics

Dear Mr. Algebra,
I'm asking your opinion about the marriage of my son Mr Zero to your daughter Miss Infinity.

I've already consulted Mr Calculus about this marriage.

He says that their stars promise a happy and prosperous married life. You know Infinity in associaton with Zero becomes infinity.
This indicates the love they have for each oter.

My son Mr Zero is very popular among students because he is claimed by the majority of them in various examination as their "hero".
As regards your daughter, she is so deeeply in love with my son whatever be added or subtracted from her she remains unchanged.

After consulting Mr Formula and Pandit logarithm then you may fix the date of the marriage.
My son is confined that you will accept our proposal, you can also consult uncle Statistics and aunt Dynamics.
Alfa, Beta, Theta and Sigma are expected to come for the marrage party.

Please convey my regard to your Sister, Miss Geometry.

Your reply is anxiously awaited...

Yours Faithfully
Trignometry

New Humour Shole Basanti Dharmendar Amitabh Mausi in Infosys

New Humour Shole Basanti Dharmendar Amitabh Mausi in Infosys

Basanti ki Shadi , Mausi & Infosys Employee

Amitabh : Mausi ladka "Infosys" mein kaam karta hai…

Mausi : Hai raam…
----
Amitabh : Aajkal allocated bhi hai…
Mausi : To kya kabhi unallocated ( i.e. bench pe) bhi rahta hai????

-----

Amitabh : Ab C rating waalon ka allocation itni asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi …
Mausi : To kya C rating bhi aati hai uski????

--------
Amitabh : Project manager se ladaai karne ke baad A ya uske upar ki rating to nahin na milti hai mausi…

Mausi : To kya ladaaku bhi hai????

-----
Amitabh : Ab onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi-kabhi anban …

Mausi : To kya onsite bhi nahin gayaa aaj tak????

------

Amitabh : Ab civil engineers ka Visa itni jaldi kahaan lagta hai mausi…

Mausi : To kya ladka civil engineer hai???? Engineering kaun se college se kiya hai????

-------
Amitabh : Bas uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!!!!

Amitabh : To kya main rishta pakka samjhun mausi ??

Mausi : Bhale hi hamaari Basanti call center waale se shaadi kar le, par Infosys waale se kabhi nahin karegi…

Goood Humour Equations:

Humour Equations:

1. SSC + HSC + BTech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT
---------------------------
2. An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.
-------------------------
3. One Chinese gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since 1896
-------------------------
4. Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.
--------------------------------
5. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park.
-------------------------------
6. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = a 4 minute song in Hindi movie.
-----------------------------
7. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own production company = Kajol
-----------------------------------------------
8. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favorite serials.
------------------------
9. Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR.
----------------------
10. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan - Talent = Abhishek Bachchan
--------------------------------
11. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan
--------------------------------------------
12. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda
--------------------------------------
13. 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan
-------------------
14. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay Dutt
-----------------------
15. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol
---------------
16. One engagement + Two weddings + Three wedding songs + Four hundred

Relatives + A house bigger than Buckingham Palace = One sooraj Barjataya Film

17.... This one is the best of all..........

Engineer + No Work = Forward this message :D

Husband Wife Naughty Jokes

Husband Wife Funny Jokes

1. Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.
Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai
.... Paisa apka ... Faisla apka .. . Jaago Graahak Jaago !!!
----------
2. " Funny but true fact !! A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband, A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !! .. What do u say?
---------
3. A Man before marriage is - Superman. After Marriage - Gentleman. 5
Years Later - Watchman. 10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.
-------------
4. Life me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate
raho... taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum... " UNMARRIED" ho.
-----------
5. Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi
ho.....
KHUSH RAHO
-----------------
6.Why love marriage is better dan Arranged???? B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL"
is better dan an "UNKNOWN GHOST".
-------------
7. Wife: main tumhari yaad mein 2O din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
HUSBAND: 2O din aur ruk jaao.
--------------
8. A man gave an add in Matrimonial column "PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got 1000 replies all saying:- " Meri Le Ja...!" ''Meri Le Ja...!''
-------------
9. Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
 Manager: "What can I do?

Husband"Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."
----------------
10. Telling a lie is a
fault for a little boy,
an art for a lover,
 an accomplishment for a bachelor and
a Matter of Survival for a married man

Funny Interview in a Software Company

Interview in a Software Company : What a Fun

One of the best interviews!!!


Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
-----------
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
----------------------
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
-----------
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
-----------
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
-----------
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
-------------------
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!

**********************************************************************

Good One Liners Joke/Humour/Fun

Good One Liners Joke/Humour/Fun

He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

----------------
Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.
----------------
If money won't make you happy, you won't like poverty either.
---------------
A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
---------------
Everyone believes in heredity until their children act like fools
----------------
There is a guaranteed way to get what you want... want less
--------------
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker
-------------
All men are different, but husbands are all alike
------------
I am not single, I'm romantically challenged
-----------
On the internet nothing is illegal, its all e-legal
----------
Make crime pay, become a lawyer.
---------
We the willing, following the unknowing are doing the impossible. We have
done so much for so long with so little that we are now able to do anything with nothing
---------
National Debt: When everyone exceeds their charge card limits
---------
A good listener is usually thinking about something else
--------
Hard work must have killed someone!
--------
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it
--------
I fell in love at first sight... I should have looked twice
--------
Freedom of speech is wonderful, it's right up there with the freedom not to listen
--------
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage
---------
Integrity is like oxygen - the higher you go, the less there is of it.

*************************************************************************

Joke

This particular joke won the award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and it was sent by an Indian...



Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.
"Someone has stolen our tent".


What it brings out is how we tend to complicate issues and then miss the most obvious things. Too much knowledge is no help unless we have the wisdom to guide it to an effective conclusion.

Good To Read : May I know the Time, Please

May I know the Time, Please

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose, if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.


Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

Young Man: Possible
Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles.
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a date with you.

Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.


Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) - Young man, I will never marry my Daughter to a person like you who does not even own a Watch.

Sardar Jokes

Sardar Jokes  

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
 Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
-------------------------------
Manager asked to sardar at an interview Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
-------------------------------
Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What? Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chadda
------------------------------ 
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
------------------------------
 One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
------------------------------
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
-------------------------------
Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK.
Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it's second leg and told the same.
Cockroach walked.
Then cut the third leg and did the same.
At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.
--------------------------------
When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror.
Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
-------------------------------
Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
 Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
--------------------------------
Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
--------------------------------
A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was? . . . .. . . . . .. . .
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!
-------------------------------
A Sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
---------------------------
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly.
 A man asks why he does this.
Sardarji: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
----------------------------
Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth..............
... Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light"
-----------------------------
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
 Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
---------------------------
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
-------------------------------
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
------------------------------
 Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - Why did u come so far.
 Instead u could have posted it....
-------------------------------
Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..
-----------------------
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
---------------------
 Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"
-----------------------
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
 He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
-----------------------
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...---To avoid side effect!!!
-----------------------
 Man: Sardarji where were u born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".
--------------------
IN COURT during a case:
Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke
Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya.
ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....
------------------------
 Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me.
I don't know how she got my number,
She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

Newton's Laws of Ramance

Newton in romantic mood......


Universal law:
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

First Law:
"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "
------------------------------
Second Law:
"the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "
-------------------------------
Third Law:
" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

DICTIONARY DECODING - MAN & WOMAN

DICTIONARY DECODING - MAN & WOMAN

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish...............49.
Adventurous..........Slept with everyone.
Athletic.............No breasts.
Average looking......Moooo.
Beautiful............Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.........On medication.
Feminist.............Fat.
Free spirit..........Junkie.
Friendship first.....Former slut.
New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned........No BJs.
Open-minded..........Desperate.
Outgoing.............Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........Bitch.
Voluptuous...........Very Fat.
Large frame..........Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate.........Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, doesn't it look like I'm upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay

Man Discovered What ? What woman Discovered ??

Man Discovered What ? What woman Discovered ??

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;
woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;
woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;
woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;
woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;
woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

MARRIAGE MATHS

MARRIAGE MATHS

Women who love sex + men who love sex = Loving home with Many children

Men who hate sex + Women who love sex = Broken home with Many Children


Men who love sex + Women who hate sex =Broken home with No Children


Men who hate sex + women who hate sex = Loving home with No children

Jeetao Preeto Santa Banta And Sardarji Jokes

Jeetao Preeto Santa Banta And Sardarji Jokes

Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

************ ********* ********* ***

On Jeeto's bday Sardar had no money,

so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said:

Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.


************ ********* ********* ****
Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
Sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara
************ ********* ********* *****
Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
************ ********* ********* ****
Santa went to mysore palace.
Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

************ ********* ********* *****
Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.


************ ********* ********* ***
A Sardar enters shop shouts,
Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab !!
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.


************ ********* ********* *****

SARDAR JOKE

SARDAR JOKE

Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai? SARDAR: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai!!!


Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking............


Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.


How do you make a Sardar laugh on "Saturday"?
Tell him "a joke on Tuesday....!!!!

Sardarji is filling up a job application...........................
He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.
Then came the column Salary Expected.....................
After much thought he writes: Yes.............................

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"

A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"


Teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"


Ek sardar exame dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leak ho gaya. ha ha ha ha ha ha.


Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon......

Sardar Jokes (Santa Banta)

Sardarji ke Jokes

Sardar : I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend : why?
Sardar : Got upper berth.
Friend : why didn't you exchange?
Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..
------------------------- -----------------
Teacher lecturing on population:
In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up and says: we must find and stop her !!
------------------------- ------------
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected"
After much thought he wrote : Yes
------------------------- -------------------
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave him 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
------------------------- ------------------------- -----
Sardar proposed a Girl
. . .
Girl said 'I'm 1 year elder to you'
. . .
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR
------------------------- ------------------
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
------------------------- --------
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''
Note: Manmohan Singh is the Prime Minister (PM) of INDIA
------------------------- ------
Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything.
So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"
The first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
------------------------- ----------
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.
A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing"
Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"
Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered " No No Me ! Banta Singh"
Third one came and asked the same question, Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach.
He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?". The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing.
The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, they are all searching for you and you are sitting here"



Great Sardar Jokes/Fun/Amusement

Great Sardar Jokes

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!



Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: U cheated me.


Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.


Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
--------------------------------------------------
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?


Sardar: An old king's skeleton.


Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?


Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.


---------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar declares:


.... . . I will never marry in my life &. . .


.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . ..
-----------------------------------------------------------


A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away


Sardar ran to catch the donkey.


He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.


------------------------


Santa went to Mysore palace.


Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair


Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..
--------------------------------------


Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,


He wanted to save money so what did he do?


Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..
-------------------------------------------------


One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?


Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!
-------------------------------------------
Teacher: A for?


Sardar: Apple


Teacher: Jor se bolo?


Sardar: Jay mata di.
-------------------------------------


2 sardars were fighting after exam.


Sir: Y r u fighting?


1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,


Sir: So what?


1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
------------------------------


Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.


He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.


He cuts all the legs and said, "chal....." Finally he wrote the conclusion.......


..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"


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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.


Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.


Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.


Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?


Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.


Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.


Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
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Sardar: What is the name of your car?


Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.


Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.


Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
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Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..


Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Difference between James Bond and Bond

Joke/Fun on James Bond

On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.



Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"


James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style, "......James Bond."


Then Bond asks: "And you?"

Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...


Siva Rao...


Samba Siva Rao...


Venkata Samba Siva Rao...


Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...


Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...


Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...


Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."


Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James Bond"



संता बंता प्रीतो करोड़पति चाचा

संता (बंता से)- यार बंता मेरी मंगनी टूटने वाली है।
प्रीतो ने मेरे साथ विवाह करने से इंकार कर दिया।

बंता (संता से)- क्या तुमने अपने करोड़पति चाचा के बारे में नहीं बताया?

संता- बताया तो था.. अब वह मेरी चाची है।

अमिताभ बच्चन को ड्राईवर रखा है (Amitabh Bachhan - Humour/Joke)

अमिताभ बच्चन को ड्राईवर रखा है

यह बात उस समय की है जब अमिताभ बच्चन लम्बी बीमारी के बाद ठीक हुए थे …..एक दिन सुबह अपने ड्राईवर विजय से बोले “अरे भाई आज गाड़ी हम चलाएंगे ..”.
ड्राईवर , “पर साब आपकी तबियत ?..”
अमिताभ “अरी मेरी तबियत ठीक हो गई है विजय , अब मैं फिट हूँ …क्या डिस्को करके दिखाऊ….
और उसके बाद कार ले कर निकल गए ! कार वो बहुत तेज चला रहे थे ….
पहला रेड सिग्नल तोडे ………..दूसरा रेड सिग्नल तोडे ………..तीसरा रेड सिग्नल तोडे ………..
…
…
…
तब १ ट्राफिक हवलदार कार को रोका ,बोला कार को सड़क के किनारे रोको और “चलो साहब लाइसेंस दिखाओ PUC, गाड़ी के कागजात …बाहर निकालो ”
और अमिताभ को देखा “अरे अमिताभ बच्चन ?!!!” वह उन्हें देखकर बहुत आश्चर्य चकित हुआ ….
…..
तब उसने तुरंत वायरलेस पर अपने सीनियर को बोला ….
“सर आप जल्दी यह आये नाके पर …”
सर : “क्यों क्या हुआ ??”
हवालदार : “सर एक गाड़ी ने सिग्नल तोडा है और मैंने उस गाड़ी को किनारे रोक रखा है ”
सर : “तो फिर ?”
हवालदार : “सर , उस गाड़ी का मालिक बहुत बड़ा आदमी है सर …. मैं उसका चालान नही फाड़ सकता आप ख़ुद यह आइये ..”
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
सर “कौन मालिक है उस गाड़ी का ??”
हवालदार : “वो तो पता नही सर पर उसने न सर …
लेकिन अमिताभ बच्चन को ड्राईवर रखा है ….”. … !!!!!!